There was no other choice, he decided, after considering it for a moment longer. He had to keep her close to him to be able to keep her safe. Brian only briefly considered sleeping on the floor. After days of sleeping on the hard ground he was not about to give up the chance to sleep in a bed. If she insisted on keeping some distance between them, he could roll up the blankets and place them between their bodies. He could only pray that he could get some sleep with her so close at hand yet so unreachable.
The moment he let her into the room, she hurried to rinse out their clothing. She was draping their wet clothes over the chairs she had set before the fire when the boy and the maids returned to empty the bath. As he sat beside Arianna on the bed watching her braid her hair, he tried to sense if she was nervous or afraid. When all he could see in her face and posture was a quiet contentment, he began to relax. She might not be ready to let him become her lover but at least she was not going to cause any trouble about them sharing the room. He was getting a little weary of suffering for that idiot Claud’s many sins against her.
As soon as the youth carried away the now empty bath, two maids arrived with the food Brian had ordered. The scent of warm bread and roasted chicken made his stomach growl. Brian smiled faintly when Arianna laughed and then he dragged the table over to the side of the bed.
“I didnae think on how we would have need of those chairs for our meal,” Arianna said as Brian sliced off large pieces of the chicken and set them on her plate.
“Our clothes needed the washing. Eat up, love. We will be back to oatcakes and the occasional rabbit all too soon.” He grinned when she groaned but then turned his full attention to his meal, unable to ignore the needs of his stomach any longer.
Arianna looked at her shift and sighed, then hoped that Brian could not hear her behind the privacy screen where she had gone to change for bed. The worn, roughly mended shift was not something to wear to entice a man—even if she knew how to be enticing. The only improvement in her appearance for days was that she was clean. She now wished she had saved the plain linen shift Brian had bought along with the extra gown instead of immediately donning it. It might be a very plain shift, but it was unstained and not mended.
She shrugged. It was all she had and she would not allow that to stop her. Tonight, in that big soft bed, she intended to conquer her fears, to silence Claud’s insidious whispers in her mind. Arianna knew it was too soon to completely banish the man and rid herself of his poison, but she could prove to herself that the one who had failed in their marriage bed had been Claud, not her. It did not matter that the whole marriage was a lie, for that did not change how he had left her believing that she was a failure in the art of love. Tonight she intended to find out if that was true. Taking a deep breath to shore up her courage, she stepped out from behind the screen and started to walk toward the bed.
The sight of Brian already in the bed, propped up by pillows, his broad chest bared to her view, made her steps falter. Arianna tried not to stare at his chest but it was hard to resist. The man had a broad chest taut with muscle and adorned with only a small patch of dark hair. His skin was smooth and faintly swarthy in color. It also showed her that she was about to take on an awful lot of man as a lover. Someone so handsome and virile might not be the best choice for her first attempt to discover if she could be a passionate lover.
Stiffening her backbone and refusing to allow uncertainty to change her mind, she climbed into the bed. Lying close by Brian’s side, she imitated his pose and stared up at the ceiling. Now all she had to do was say something that would let him know she was ready to test the passion that flared between them. Unfortunately, her mind offered her not one suggestion. She had never really requested Claud’s attentions and lying on her back staring up at the ceiling was all he had ever really required of her.
Arianna decided that she could lie there all night staring at the ceiling, her mind empty of any clear yet subtle hint of willingness she could give Brian, or she could act. A timid part of her whispered a third choice, that she could just forget the whole thing. Arianna ignored that timid side of herself, rolled onto her side and came face-to-face with Brian. She had been so lost in her own thoughts that she had never felt him turn toward her.
“I have been thinking about what ye said, ye ken, that last time we kissed and I, weel ...”
“Ran away?” Brian fought down the eagerness he could feel building inside, the anticipation that had his body already taut with need.
“Weel, aye.” Arianna reached out to stroke the broad, smooth chest she could not stop admiring. The way his skin felt beneath her hand sent a shiver of delight through her.
“I remember it all verra weel. Have ye decided ye will now cast off the chains Claud wrapped ye up in?” In his head, Brian was close to begging that that was so.
“Aye, but ...”
He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. “Nay, dinnae say but. Dinnae torment a poor mon, love. Aye or nay.”