“And he willnae?”
“Oh, aye, he will, but he will still think he has done the right thing and that will comfort him. Probably thinking this was the honorable thing to do will make him accept it all as something he had to do, too.” She nodded when Arianna snorted softly with scorn. “He truly believes ye are too high a reach for him and he wouldnae be doing the right thing if he tried to make ye stay.”
Arianna put her elbows on her knees and bent to rest her face in her hands. “It may be for the best anyway. It may be that I can convince him that I want to stay with him, dinnae care about bloodlines, finery, or the like, but there is something I cannae give him nay matter how much I love him.”
Fiona frowned. “And what would that be?”
“Children.” She told Fiona about thinking she was barren and all that Jolene had said about the possibility that she was not. “I had thought to talk to ye about it but with everything that has happened, I forgot. Then my bleeding time came last week and all I could think about was that Brian hadnae been able to seed me, either.”
“Ah, weel, I dinnae think ye are barren. Ye were nay with Brian long enough for that to let ye judge the way of it. I am thinking Jolene has the right of it. But, there isnae any way to be certain the problem was with Claud and nay you. There is a hint or two that it was. I also dinnae think that Brian would care.”
“Nay? Men want children. Wheesht, I want children. The fact that I actually wanted Claud’s children should be enough to tell ye that.”
Fiona smiled, but then said, “I wager Callum could find ye a few in need of a home and family.”
“I did think on that but they wouldnae be of Brian’s blood. That might trouble him.”
Fiona shook her head. “I doubt it, truly I do. As for ones of his blood? This keep fair bursts at the seams with them. The MacFingals have more than they need. Ye have seen that. We have a whole army of MacFingals and, being the rutting goats that they are, they are still making more.” Fiona stood up. “There is only one way to find out if ye are barren or nay, isnae there? And ye just told me that ye dinnae have that as proof yet.”
Arianna shook her head, the pain she had suffered when she had bled last week still fresh. She had not realized she had hoped for Brian’s child until that hope had been crushed. Her mind knew that the fact that Brian had not seeded her in the few times they had made love meant nothing, but her heart did not. The fear that she was barren had returned in full strength.
“Weel, all I can say is that I wouldnae let it stand,” said Fiona. “I would go right back to the fool and tell him what an idiot he is. There is a chance that, if ye make your own feelings on the matter verra clear, he will change his mind. He could be thinking he can send ye away now because it will nay hurt ye much. Ye need to convince him that he is wrong.”
“Why must it always be the woman who needs to take that first step?”
“Because men are idiots. And as I told ye, they are also verra fond of making decisions for us without discussing it all with us first. So, rouse that anger I saw when I first came in here and then hunt the mon down. Aye, there may be a chance, a verra small one as I see it, that he will still send ye home. But, when ye go, ye will do so kenning that ye had done all ye could to make him ask ye to stay, aye?”
“So then all the blame will then rest on his shoulders?”
“Exactly. Right where it belongs.”
Arianna remained seated on the bed for a while after Fiona left, staring at the mess she had made. It was going to take a lot of courage to go and confront Brian, to lay herself bare in the hope that he would want to keep her. It was also going to be a hard fight to get him to see that she did not need all those things he thought she did, that she did not care if he had land, a castle, or a purse bulging with coin. She had had that for five years in France and had been utterly miserable. Claud had been one of those highborn, landed, and titled men Brian thought she should find and marry, yet the man had been a cruel bastard with no care for her at all.
She tensed. Her fury over being sent home like some wayward child was returning. Arianna smiled. She might be a little lacking in courage but, when she was furious, she tended to forget that.
“So ye dinnae plan to come out of your room and wave us all on our way?”
Brian scowled at Callum. “Strange. I didnae hear ye knock.”
Callum sat in the chair across the worktable from Brian and helped himself to a drink of ale. “Might be because I didnae.” He took a drink, sighed with pleasure, and then fixed a cold, green gaze on Brian. “As her dearest cousin, I should have beaten ye soundly for taking her to your bed, but she was happy. Now I think I shall beat ye soundly for kicking her out of your bed. Ye have made her verra unhappy.”
“Ye kenned I was going to do it when ye were in here earlier.”