Minka purses her lips, and I know she wants to change the subject. A minute passes before she speaks up again.
“I talk to Verina every month, and she says Mom lives comfortably. I don’t want to know more than that. Imagining her as an old woman makes me feel guilty for never visiting or calling. Of course, my grandmother was even more manipulative once she got old. She really played up the elderly angle. Oh, and her memory was always iffy when it came to her sins.”
“I’m lucky in that my family are pretty good people. I never had to cut any of them off. If I did have to, maybe I’d feel bad after a while.”
“I feel guilty because she’s my mother, not because she deserves it.”
My thumb caresses her tense jaw. “I know. I ain’t saying you should feel any different. What do I know anyway? I’m just thinking maybe it bothers you because it’s unresolved. Not for her, but for you. I mean, you left when you were young. Time has passed, and thinking of her as an old lady all alone makes you feel bad. Maybe if you saw her or talked to her, you’d see her the way she really is.”
“I don’t know,” Minka mumbles, frowning at the thought.
“Look, I’m no therapist, and I ain’t pretending to know about things. I did have a friend Johnny from middle school. He and I were tight. We were just getting into girls, and we’d play pranks on people. He was like a brother to me. I loved the guy, but then his dad got another job, and they moved. It killed me. All these years, I was thinking of him as the Johnny I knew, and I couldn’t stop thinking I’d lost something important. It nagged at me, so I looked him up a few years back.”
The memory makes me frown. Minka nuzzles her lips against my throat, and I shake off my bad mood.
“Johnny was living in Florida with his wife and kids. I came down for the weekend, and you know what? I couldn’t stand the guy. All the stuff I used to think was so damn great about him was annoying as fuck. He was too loud. He talked about girls like we did when we were twelve. The guy had a daughter but talked about pussy all the damn time. Not like a man would talk about it, but like a twelve-year-old boy who don’t know about pussy would. He never changed, but I did.”
“That sucks.”
“Not really, because I got the need out of my system. I was always thinking I lost something huge, but I realized we’d have grown apart anyway. We weren’t going in the same direction in life. Meeting him again put things in place for me. I’m not saying that’ll happen with your mom, because she’s your mom. Might not hurt to try, though.”
“Is it weird that I’m scared?”
“Naw, Apples. It’s your fucking mom. Parents have a sick power over their kids. My mom can call me and whine about a plumbing problem, and I’ll want to fly home to fix it for her. I’m lucky my ma don’t try to use her powers to make me her fucking poodle, because she could.”
Minka smiles slightly. “I guess I ought to visit her. Facing my fears worked with heights.”
“I could go with you if you want.”
Still nervous about discussing the future, Minka shrugs. “Let’s see if I still like you in a week.”
“Baby, in a week, you’ll be kissing my feet. I oughta get you kneepads to make the process easier.”
“Asshole.”
“I’m an honest guy. What can I tell you?”
Minka stands up. “You’re pissing me off.”
“Because I’m making you feel what you don’t want to feel. You should thank me.” I stand up and take Minka’s hand. “What do you want to do now?”
“Let’s walk around awhile. Seeing these happy people makes me feel better about how miserable those people were this morning.”
“You have a sweet heart,” I say, kissing her forehead.
My arm wraps around her shoulders possessively. This time, Minka doesn’t try to squirm away or give me an amused look. Talking about her mom soured her mood. I ought to feel guilty, but she needs to face facts about both her mom and us. I’m not going anywhere. While I have no intention of breaking this powerful woman, I do plan on getting her a pair of kneepads for all of the worshipping that she’ll do soon.
14
Minka
Playing Heroes
Dino and I watch an episode of Deadliest Catch while he tells me that he can’t fish because of his deep-seated fear of boredom. I pretend to be turned on by the dirty men on the show, leading Dino to change the channel.
“They’re not your type,” he says, looking for something else to watch.
I’m laughing at his ridiculous jealous nature when the phone rings. I answer and hear Hayes growling before he even speaks. Dino immediately gets a possessive glare on his handsome face, and I roll my eyes at him.
“Pay attention, fuckwit,” Hayes demands.
“This better be important.”
“You talked to Ruby at the titty bar, right?”
“The bartender?”
“Yeah, dumbass, the bartender.”
“You seem tense. Is something wrong?”
High Voltage (Ramsey Security #3)
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