The next hour was a big blur as things moved quicker than I could process them. They moved Adrianna into labor and delivery to examine her. The nurse found her to be nine centimeters dilated – whatever that meant. They weren’t even sure if her regular doctor would make it in time to deliver the baby, that’s how quickly she was progressing. She was too far along for an epidural which made Adrianna even more upset – because giving birth without pain meds was apparently not part of her birthing plan. The nurse brought me a pair of scrubs and instructed that I put them on quickly. I had barely enough time to get the damn things on right before the nurse shouted to Adrianna that she was okay to push.
I was sure that there was a bunch of things I should’ve done; like call Victor and Grace to let them know their daughter was in labor. There wasn’t enough time, and I wasn’t about to leave A’s side. They wheeled Adrianna into the delivery room and as they hoisted her onto the table, fitting her legs into the stirrups, I glanced over at the nurse that was preparing the incubator. She placed a fresh blanket inside and turned on the heating lamps overhead signaling that a little life was about to be born. I swallowed hard turning back to Adrianna, she looked exhausted, sweat beading on her forehead as she moaned.
I knew from when we first started dating that this day would come, one day I’d hold her hand as she brought a child into this world, but I had pushed those thoughts out of my head the day Adrianna came to visit me in jail. I knew that I had lost her for good, she was someone else’s, and he’d be the one to see her give birth. Now, here I was, holding her hand and brushing her hair away from her face as she pushed for the first time.
“Oh my God, it burns so bad!” She screamed throwing her head back in defeat then shaking it uncontrollably. “I can’t do this, please someone stop it.”
“Look at me,” I demanded softly, waiting until she turned her gaze to meet mine. “You’ve got this Reese’s,” I whispered. Her nickname; I hadn’t uttered in so long, feeling foreign and familiar as it rolled off my tongue.
She started to cry as she stared at me. “You haven’t called me that in years,” she whispered.
“Yeah well, it’s a special occasion,” I winked at her, taking her hand in mine. “Let’s meet this baby, yeah?”
She waited a beat before nodding, lifting her knees to her chest and pushed with all her might. She let out a guttural cry and clutched my hand tightly. I didn’t know where to look, part of me wanting to stare in awe at Adrianna as she did this amazing thing. The other part wanting desperately to see this little life take its first breath. In the end, the baby won my attention as the doctor lifted this tiny bundle in the air as if it was a rubber chicken. The most beautiful fucking chicken I ever saw.
“It’s a boy!” He declared happily, as his cry filled the room.
I turned to Adrianna as she dropped back against the table crying tears of joy. I leaned down and kissed her cheek.
“He’s beautiful Reese’s,” I said, feeling so fucking proud of her.
“Come here, dad,” the doctor said, the nurse nudged me, pushing me towards him and tearing me away from Adrianna. He lifted a pair of scissors to my hand and instructed me to cut the cord. I hesitated for about a millisecond before doing what he said. It wasn’t my place, but I had watched that baby be born, and that fucking did something to me. I may not be that kid’s father, I may never have a relationship with that baby boy, but he would forever have a place in my heart.
The nurses cleaned him up, then wrapped him in a blanket and put a little cap on his head before placing him in Adrianna’s waiting arms. I took a step back, leaning against the wall as I watched the girl I grew up loving hold her son for the first time. I never thought I’d witness a moment so tender in my life, never thought I would be lucky enough, but God proved me wrong tonight.
I left the hospital sometime in the early morning after Victor and Grace had arrived, but not without one last peek at that baby boy. I spotted him in the nursery instantly, the only baby with a full head of hair. He really was a looker, but then again, he would be with a mother like Adrianna.
Luca Anthony Pastore was born weighing seven pounds, ten ounces and was twenty-two inches tall. I stared at that baby for quite some time before I left. I vowed always to look out for him. We had shared something tonight, the three of us, something that could never be erased no matter what the circumstances. Adrianna and her son gave me some homecoming, one I’m sure would always be carved inside my heart.
Chapter Two: June 2005