She stirred, her eyes blinking as they opened and focused on me. I took a step backwards for the first time realizing that she was sitting here waiting for me. She straightened up, one of her hands moving to rest on her stomach as she looked at me.
“Welcome home,” she whispered, annihilating me with those two words. I know she didn’t intentionally mean to fuck with me, but looking at her sitting in my apartment in the state she was currently in and welcoming me home completely undid me. It was as if she was waiting to welcome me home with open arms.
“What’re you doing here?” I asked her gruffly.
“I wanted to see you,” she whispered shifting her eyes downward.
“Yeah?” I huffed as I turned around unable to look at her anymore. I knew if I didn’t, I’d take her in my arms and fucking kiss her senseless; the way I dreamed of doing every day for the last three years. “You should’ve thought twice about that, considering your father had big plans for me tonight. It would’ve been an uncomfortable situation if I had brought a woman home with me.”
“I thought about that but risked it anyway.” She took a deep breath. “It wouldn’t be the first time I was back-handed by your actions.” Her voice took a bitter tone forcing me to turn around. She didn’t have the right to be bitter, not now, not in this moment, this moment was all mine. I was the one standing there looking at her pregnant with another man’s child. I was the one who was entitled to be bitter.
“Why are you here A? Don’t you have a man you should be with?” I tipped my chin towards her stomach. “Lamaze classes or whatever the fuck that couples do before they pop out a kid? Isn’t he wondering where you are?”
“Do you have to be so cruel to me all the time? I mean, don’t you get bored with pretending to hate me?”
“Who’s pretending sweetheart?” I said, trying like hell to sound malicious.
“You forget I see right through you Anthony, I always have,” she paused knowing very well that she had me there. Adrianna had always seen right through my bullshit. I had made a lot of attempts to make her hate me, thinking it was for her own good. She had seen through every last one of them.
“I don’t need this shit A, honest to God I don’t,” I said as I sighed, combing my fingers roughly through my hair. I looked at her for a moment watching as she struggled to stand up, using her hands to grip the arms of the chair. I shouldn’t have done it but I couldn’t have stopped myself if I tried, I extended my hand to help her to her feet.
“Thank you,” she whispered as she gazed into my eyes. “It’s getting harder to move around these days.”
I nodded not knowing what to say. My emotions were fighting to the surface, threatening to bring me back to a place in time I didn’t want to visit.
“Vinny, that’s the baby’s father, he’s not …” she took a deep breath gathering the courage she needed to explain her situation. “He’s in rehab.” She shook her head. “We aren’t together. I’ll be raising this baby by myself.” Her lower lip quivered as her eyes filled with tears, but to her credit, she didn’t shed a single tear. “Don’t do that,” she scolded, poking her index finger into my chest. “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t want your pity.”
“I don’t pity you.”
“Sure you do, it’s written all over your face,” she whisper-yelled, tilting her head to the side studying me intently. “And maybe there is a part of you that’s also happy thinking I got what I deserved.”
“Don’t say that,” I barked, shaking my head. “I never want to see you hurt.”
“Not by the hands of someone else – just you right?”
“You think I wanted any of this for you? For fuck’s sake, you were supposed to have a good life, and I was the one who was supposed to give it to you,” I yelled as I shook my head. “Some good life.”
“Don’t talk about my baby like it’s a burden,” she retorted through clenched teeth, the dam breaking and the tears finally falling.
“That’s not what I meant,” I shouted. But the truth was I didn’t know what I meant. I didn’t want Adrianna in the situation she was in, pregnant and alone, not now and not then. I glanced down at her belly and again I fought the urge to place my hand over it as I felt my eyes fill. I wanted to be the man who made all her dreams come true. I wanted to give her a family, a home, a good life – but due to my choices, all she got from me was heartache. It was hard not to blame myself for her situation. She never would have wound up pregnant and alone if I hadn’t agreed to Victor’s orders.
“Anthony!” She shouted, pulling me away from my thoughts, forcing me to stare at her blankly. “Did you hear what I said?” She cried, clutching her stomach. Looking at her, my eyes travel down her body and that’s when I saw a pool of water on the floor between her legs. “My water broke!” She shrieked.
I stared at her for a moment knowing I’d never forget that look of fear in her sad, brown eyes as long as I live.