Seeing Michael again, despite the circumstances being less than ideal, brought me back to a place when everything was perfect, a happy time in my life. Mike and I were tight growing up, being the same age and all. We had been in the same classes since we started school until high school. Our parents were cute, trying to set us up since we received our first Holy Communion, but us kids, we had a different plan. It was more like a partnership between us. He being a close friend of Anthony’s; it was his job to make sure I got close to him and while he didn’t hook us up, he had made sure a lot of our coincidental meetings weren’t coincidental at all. He was all for Anthony and me getting together. Why shouldn’t he be? In exchange for his cooperation, I had set him up with half the girls in school. Really, it was a win-win for both of us if you think about it.
Growing up, Mike had been my best male friend. He was the peanut butter to my jelly and then there was my sister Nikki, who was the banana that wormed its way inside our sandwich. She tagged along everywhere we went, trying to be older than what she was just to fit in with us. I didn’t mind it, even thought it was cute considering how obvious it was that Nikki’s first crush was Mikey Valente. Yes, she called him Mikey and what was even more bizarre was that he allowed her to but if anyone else did, he’d flip out on them.
We were young and carefree without a worry in the world other than your usual teenage bullshit. Like I said, a perfect time in my life.
It sucked that Mike had lost his dad ten years ago and that he and his mom had moved far away from us and never kept in touch. It sucked even more that the only reason Mike had come back home was to bury his mom. Michael split my heart in two as he said his final goodbyes to his mother. He looked pitiful even though he kept his tough guy bravado firmly in place it was easy to read him if you looked into his eyes, the heartache so clear. It made me wish I could go back in time, to that perfect place and be the friend he needed.
Luckily, he had warmed up to Nikki and even though she had just been a kid when he had seen her last it was almost as if they picked up right where they left off. Sure, things were different. He wasn’t chasing tail, and she wasn’t chasing him but still the few times they had been together in my company, you could tell how comfortable they felt with one another, how easy they felt around each other. They reminded me of a younger version of Anthony and myself and at the re-pass, I tried to sway Nikki to explore that. It may have been wrong of me to do so, she had a boyfriend Rico, and they were serious. Rico didn’t strike me as the type that would be okay with his girl being chummy with a guy like Mike, but Mike needed a friend and Nikki could be that for him.
I should’ve kept my opinions to myself because it bit me in the ass. My sister started to question my situation with Anthony, giving me the usual ‘You’re pathetic as you sit here and pine away for him’ speech. I wish it wasn’t so fucking obvious that I was still in love with a man who constantly pushed me away. She was right I was pathetic. The harsh reality smacked me in the face, causing me to grab my son and storm out of the restaurant we had all gathered at after the funeral.
I wanted to be a good role model for my sister, to be a strong woman she could look up to and strive to be. Instead, I was her older sister whose life was a fucking mess. I’m the red flag you steer clear of, the chick you look at and say to yourself, ‘God, don’t let me be like her’. Pathetic.
“Hold up…,” I heard Anthony holler behind me. I ignored him, placing the baby in the car, still carrying the diaper bag and tried to fold the carriage. I gave up and threw the carriage on the floor as Luca began to fuss and opened the back seat door, struggling to get him buckled in.
“Adrianna,” he called, standing behind me now. There was no sense in ignoring him. I strapped the baby in and grabbed a toy from the diaper bag then spun around on my heel and pierced him with a steady look.
“What is it Anthony?”
“I’ll give you a hand,” he said, bending down to grab the carriage.
“I don’t want your help,” I replied, reaching for the carriage. His eyes lifted to meet mine and then narrowed as they studied me. It was unnerving how he stripped me to the bone with one stare.
“What’s going on?” He asked slowly, not letting go of the carriage. I ripped my hand off it and let him have a go at it. The goddamn thing was a bitch to fold. The first time I used it I had to watch a YouTube video in the middle of the street so I could close the damn thing.
I frowned when he set the carriage down on the concrete and bent his knees a fraction to make himself eye-level with me. His index finger tipped my chin as he straightened himself up and held my eyes with his own.