“Character ones?”
“Yes those are better, they put love into the themed ones,” she said knowingly.
I shook my head as I pulled out of the parking spot. I guess besides going home to grab the gifts I had bought but not wrapped, I now had to go get cupcakes too. Bah fucking humbug.
Chapter Nineteen: 2014
“Come on Luca, Auntie Lauren has another present for you to open,” Lauren said, taking my son’s chubby little hand in hers as she led him to the stack of presents under the Christmas tree in Maria’s living room. I’ve spent every Christmas Eve with Anthony’s mom since that first Christmas he was in prison. It started off that I wanted to be close to him and I didn’t want Maria to spend the holiday alone. I knew she had Lauren and that she would come home for the holidays but still I felt if I missed her son, then surely she did too. Of course my parents hated I wasn’t with them on the holiday but once they realized there was nothing they could do to stop me, they sort of just gave up and let me be. So four years and four Christmases later, I prepared fried Calamari with Anthony’s mother, uncertain if he would even show up but positive that if he did I’d be a wreck since I hadn’t seen or heard from him since our slip up.
It sounds strange, even just in my head, to call what we shared a slip up but for my own sanity, I can’t think of it as anything more. Despite what I felt that night or even that following morning, I knew it was foolish of me to believe it was anything other than a mistake. Anthony confirmed that by never reaching out, but I should be used to that kind of behavior from him. No one shut me out or ignored me better than him.
“I’m happy you came, Adrianna,” Maria said, throwing the first batch of calamari into her deep fryer. “To be honest, I didn’t think you would.”
“Oh come on Maria, your son can’t keep me away from you and your Christmas Eve feast,” I winked at her as I washed the flour off my hands in the sink. “Do you think he will show up?”
“I haven’t heard from him all day. I’d like to think that wishing his mother a merry Christmas is high on the list of priorities but I don’t know anymore. I’ve only seen him a handful of times since he’s been home and that’s partially because I can’t bear to see the lost soul he’s become. He’s just so broken.” She scooped the fish from the fire and rested it on a metal rack allowing the oil to drip onto a paper towel. “You, my dear put up a better front than he does.”
“Excuse me?”
“A stranger on the street would never be able to tell how broken hearted you are but me? I see it in your eyes. They’re so sad all the time. Anthony’s eyes are always blank but just observing him you can tell he’s hurting, lost, and just…well, like I said broken.”
I opened my mouth to say something but words fail me. Everything she says is true, we were broken, and that was the best way to describe it. The sad part was that neither of us was trying to fix it.
“Smells good in here.” I froze at the sound of his voice.
“Anthony,” Maria declared beside me, happiness and surprise laced in her voice. “I didn’t hear the door,” she stated as she grabbed the towel I clutched in my hands and patted her hands dry before wrapping her arms around him. I turned slightly, lifting my head just a fraction and my eyes met his. He smiled as he embraced his mother.
I tore my eyes away from him and put the fried calamari on a platter, busying myself seemed like the way to go. It would’ve been a stellar plan had my hands hadn’t been shaking like a leaf.
Anthony unraveled himself from his mother’s arms and took the platter from my hands.
“Careful,” he whispered.
I felt Maria’s intent gaze on us before she cleared her throat. “Here let me finish that so that the two of you can see what Lauren and Luca are up to. Your sister will be so surprised to see you.”
“Lauren knew I was coming,” he pointed to the box of baked goods. “She sent me for cupcakes.”
“She hates cupcakes,” Maria stated confused.
I watched as Anthony scratched his jaw trying to hide a smirk. “Yeah, I bet she thought Luca would like them though,” he turned to face me. “He does doesn’t he?”
“Loves them,” I croaked.
“Vanilla frosted is his favorite I bet,” he laughed.
“Yes.”
“Lauren!” Anthony hollered over his shoulder still keeping his eyes on me. “I didn’t expect to see you.”
“I’m sure you didn’t,” I replied. Why did he have to look at me like that? He devoured me with his eyes and I couldn’t help but squirm.
“Well, it’s about time!” Lauren snapped playfully causing Anthony to turn around and greet his sister who held my toddler on her hip.
“Oh…hey little man,” he smiled genuinely at my boy and my heart skipped a beat. It was so strange to see him smile but also heartwarming to watch.