“I’m his father.”
“Never acted like a father so that card holds no merit in my book,” I hissed, the adrenaline in my body making me dizzy.
“It all makes sense now,” he groaned, rolling onto his side in pain. “You’re the guy,” He said hunched over in pain. I rise to my full height and stare down at the poor bastard with his lip split in two, his body bruised and battered. His eye swollen, his wrist definitely broken, and he was spitting up blood. He lifts his head and peers at me to the best of his ability.
“You’re the one beating the ever living fuck out of me but who gets to hurt you? Who gets to fuck you up for what you did to her?” His words slap me in the face, making me take a step back. “It’s Anthony right?”
I stay perfectly still as I stare at the bloody mess of a man who took the beating I handed him and slapped me with those hard cold words of truth.
“You can think whatever the fuck you want about me but I loved her. I loved her all the while she still loved you. I thought I could love her enough, it wouldn’t matter that she didn’t love me.” He struggles to sit up and I almost want to hold out my hand to help him but I bet he’d spit on my hand at this point.
“I never fucking stood a chance with Adrianna. I knew she was damaged, she was broken, and still I couldn’t help fall in love with her. The thing was I was foolish enough to believe I could fix what you broke.” Vinny shook his head, groaning as he sat up and lean against the wall. He reached behind his head and pulled his hand back to stare at the blood that painted his fingertips.
“You’re right. I’m no good. I’m not a good man, hell, I have no business being that perfect boy’s father, but I’ll get what’s coming to me. I’m my own worst enemy, the drugs will kill me one day, and if they don’t then one of the dealers will,” he says shrugging his shoulders. “I’ll pay for every bad thing I’ve done to them but when do you pay for what you did to her? Who makes you pay for breaking her?”
I hold his gaze for a moment, swallowing hard before speaking. “Just stay the fuck away from her. She’s doing her best to make a life for herself and that baby of yours. Leave her be.”
Vinny nodded, leaning over and spitting out blood into the bush beside him. “You still love her.”
“That’s none of your business,” I growl.
“No, I guess it’s not,” he said, leaning against the wall. “I’ll stay away,” he said, barely audible.
I don’t give him another look as I turn around leaving him and the battle between us in the courtyard. I had to give him credit, for a junkie, he fought back. I may have brought my fists and my strength as my weapons but his were his words and they were just as effective. I walked through the apartment building to the front lobby thinking that this shit between me and A ruined a lot more lives than just ours. Vinny probably was a decent guy when he met A, but her undying love for me ruined him and he succumbed to his own demons. It made me wonder how something that made me feel so fucking good, could be so fucking bad at the same time? How could loving Adrianna and having her love be so destructive?
I got into my car, resolving that I’ll never know the answer. I’ll never know why we were only subjected to pain and suffering when we had this larger than life love for one another.
After Vinny showed up at my doorstep begging me for money, telling me that his dealers were after him I decided I needed to take matters into my own hands. I couldn’t subject my child to this kind of behavior. You may think subjecting him to the mob isn’t any better but I have no choice when it comes to that. Anthony and I are consciously staying away from one another to give Luca a fair shot of rising above the mob. It seems only fair he gets the same from his own father.
They say addiction is a disease but I fear it runs deeper than that for most people. I don’t want my son to grow up battling the same inner struggles his father did. Since Luca was born, Vinny hasn’t attempted to see him or be his dad, making the decision to keep him away from Vinny easier. I’ve been a single mom, doing everything for my son without the help of a man. There is no need for Vinny to be a part of his life – not in the condition he’s in any way.
I dropped the baby at my mom’s as I always do before going to work. The difference being I took a personal day today to straighten this shit out for the last time. I rang the bell, not even sure, if I was at the right place, this was the last address I had for Vinny before he went to rehab. I breathed a sigh of relief when he answered the door for it quickly to be replaced by a gasp.
“Oh my God,” I said, raising my hand to cover my mouth. Vinny’s face was badly beaten, swollen, cut, black and blue. His arm was in a sling and his bare torso wrapped in gauze. Apparently, I was too late and Vinny’s drug dealers had caught up to him.