At just that moment I noticed a pack of first-years approaching the field. Among them was Darren, dark eyes averted and mouth pressed in a permanent frown of contempt. He looked like a stark, black wolf against the white, snow-pressed landscape.
I swallowed as I watched him pass, not knowing what to say. I felt as if I needed to thank him, only I couldn’t get the words to form in my mouth. Last night he had been approachable, almost friendly even, not a prince or a non-heir but a teasing rival I could find camaraderie with. Now, he was as aloof as ever, a dark prince unreachable in all but the most capricious of mood swings.
My gaze trailed after Darren as he and his group continued their trek to the top of the hill.
“Ryiah?”
I glanced at my friends, startled. Ella had a strange expression on her face. “What?” I demanded.
“You never answered Clay’s question.”
“Oh.” I reddened as they continued to stare. “I’m not sure…I guess it just came to me. You know how these things happen.”
The expression on both their faces said they didn’t. But my friends had no reason to doubt, so they did not press further. We continued our trek back to the barracks in silence, but it was much later that day that I finally acknowledged the unspoken question.
The week of winter solstice came and went in the blink of an eye. Before I even realized it, the final day of our break had arrived. Perhaps it was because there really was no “break” to the days at hand, but I felt as if it had only just begun.
As I sat next to my friends in the dining hall that evening, I couldn’t help but return to the same question I had been asking myself all week. Why keep Darren’s help a secret? Was it because I didn’t trust him, or was it the judgment I would face if I did?
Ella had made it pretty clear how she felt about the non-heir, and all of my friends had at one point or another been at the receiving end of the prince’s malice. Darren had made my stay difficult too. I couldn’t forget all the times he had insulted me, or how he had deliberately jeopardized Alex’s and my chances during that final week of Combat orientation in the mountains.
But he had also helped me more times than I cared to admit.
I set my glass down with a bit too much force. Water sprayed across the table, and my friends guffawed.
“Watch yourself, Ryiah!” Ruth snapped, pulling her books off the table and attempting to dry their covers with the sleeve of her tunic.
“Everything okay?” Ella asked, eyeing my water suspiciously.
I avoided her gaze. “I’m fine,” I lied.
“You haven’t eaten,” Alex observed.
“I have a lot on my mind.” I stood hastily. “I’m going to retire for the night.”
Before they could protest, I left the dining hall and started for the barracks.
I was about halfway to my destination when I spotted the source of my frustration. He was in the midst of conversation with Jake and William, the two burly brothers that always seemed to be everywhere he went. They were debating the merits of the crossbow when I arrived.
All three of them turned to stare when I stayed instead of moving on to the door behind them. Jake had a sour expression on his face, and I silently returned the sentiment, having not forgotten that day during Piers’s obstacle course. After Priscilla, Jake was my least favorite of the group.
“Yes?” Darren asked, amusement in his eyes.
“Can I talk to you?” I asked, conscious of the audience we had present.
“Go right on ahead,” Darren said.
“Alone,” I said through my teeth.
“What business do you have talking to a prince, lowborn?” Jake growled.
“Whatever business I have is none of yours,” I snapped.
Jake and William exchanged speculative glances. Darren motioned for them to leave, unable to contain a grin as his friends parted, and the two of us were left standing alone in the dark hall.
“What is it this time, Ryiah?”
I stared at the wall, and then forced myself to meet the non-heir’s eyes.
“I want to apologize—”
His jaw dropped.
“—I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I have come to the realization that I’ve been making the same mistakes I accused you of.”
Darren’s eyes widened, and I made myself continue. “You’re not a very nice person,” I admonished, “but you aren’t the horrible one I make you out to be either. And for that, I’m sorry. You’ve helped me when you had no reason to, so thank you.”
Silence greeted my admission. I felt foolish, standing there, when it was clear he had nothing to say. It doesn’t matter, I told myself, you’ve made your peace. You’re conscious is clear now. Rather than stick around in awkward silence, I gave a curt nod and made way to leave.
“Ryiah, wait—”
I turned abruptly, just as Darren’s hand shot out to grab my wrist. I barely caught a glimpse of the strange expression on his face before a series of sparks shot out all across my body. It was as if someone had lit fire to my veins. All at once I felt too hot and cold and could feel nothing else.