—
AN HOUR LATER, the exhausting dog-and-pony show is finally over, and I make an announcement that everyone can head toward the auditorium unless they have any remaining questions. After a mass exodus, only two pairs of parents remain: (1) the Eddelmans, who have asked roughly sixty percent of all questions tonight, most of which are completely specific to their child, Jared, who, we have all learned, has a nut allergy, a latex allergy, a phobia of birds, and a propensity for nosebleeds; and (2) Will and Andrea.
I take a deep breath and address the Eddelmans, who give me a three-minute monologue about Jared’s EpiPen, while, from the corner of my eye, I watch Andrea and Will inspect Edie’s cubby. I nod earnestly, reassuring the Eddelmans that I am very well versed in life-threatening allergies but also fully confident that parents will respect the strict no-nut policy.
“We are very, very careful,” I say, acknowledging their concern. “Please rest assured that Jared will be safe at school.”
Finally appeased, the Eddelmans thank me and move along, leaving only Will and Andrea. My heart is in my throat as I turn to them.
“Hello,” I say, my fake smile back in full force. I focus solely on Andrea, glancing at her gray roots, feeling grateful that I’ve yet to find one on my own head. A small victory.
“Hi, Josie. I just wanted to introduce myself. I’m Andrea,” she says. She gives me a genuine smile as she starts to shake my hand, then stops, perhaps because her hands are as clammy as mine.
I take a deep breath and tell Andrea that it’s very nice to meet her, too. At this point, I decide that I can no longer delay making eye contact with Will, so I force myself to meet his gaze. I feel a stab of pain in my chest. He is as perfect as I remember. Even more so. “Hi, Will,” I say. “It’s nice to see you.”
“Hi, Josie,” he says.
I drop my gaze to the two open buttons of his teal checked Vineyard Vines shirt, and remember how soft his chest hair used to feel against me when we were making love.
“It’s been a while,” I say, my eyes shifting to the whale logo on the breast pocket.
“Yeah,” he says, nodding. “How’s your family?”
“They’re well. My parents…are…still divorced,” I stammer, “but both are pretty happy. Meredith married Nolan and they have a daughter.”
Will nods and says, yes, he heard that—and I give him credit for not pretending that I hadn’t crossed his mind once in all these years and that he knew nothing about my life. He glances at Andrea and quickly explains, “Nolan was Josie’s brother’s best friend.”
She nods, clearly aware of exactly who all the players are, and oddly, I’m both touched and annoyed by this. On the one hand, how dare he talk about my brother to her, especially when he never even met him. And yet, deep down, I know I’d feel worse if Andrea had no clue who Daniel was.
“That’s really cool that they got married,” Will says, shifting his weight from one foot to the other, perhaps second-guessing his use of the word cool. Is it really cool when two people connected to a terrible tragedy wind up together? I mean—it’d be cool if Daniel were still alive. But he’s not.
I let Will off the hook and quickly agree, though, because I don’t want to talk more about my sister’s marriage or my brother’s death. In case this isn’t clear, I make my face as blank as possible, a tough thing to do when you’re churning with emotion, but something I’ve become good at over the years. Impassive, I remember Will calling me during our final fight—a charge that led to me shutting down completely.
“So anyway, we just wanted to say hello,” Andrea says. “Because otherwise it might be sort of awkward…given your history with Will.” She chooses her words carefully. “I mean, I guess we just wanted to acknowledge the elephant in the room.”
“Yes. Thank you,” I murmur, surprised by what appears to be her complete lack of an agenda aside from pleasantness, courtesy, perhaps even kindness.
Andrea smiles. “We were so happy when we got the teacher assignments. We heard that you’re the best teacher in the grade.”
“All the first-grade teachers are fantastic,” I say. “But I was happy to see Edie on my list, too.” The statement suddenly doesn’t seem like a lie, if only because she really has been the catalyst for my life-changing plan.
“She really likes you,” Andrea says. “She talks about you all the time.”
I’m not sure I believe this until Will nods in vague agreement. “Yeah. We heard about your doctor boyfriend. In Africa.” He flashes me a fleeting look of skepticism that I can only interpret because I once knew him so well. He clearly doubts my story.
Deciding I no longer need a Jack in my life, I give a little dismissive wave of my hand and say, “Oh, yes. Jack. We actually broke up. Last night…well, it was morning for him.”