Years of living with my feelings only cemented what I knew. I was so lost in him. I always had been, and I knew that I'd accept whatever he offered and deal with the consequences later.
My face was held in the grip of both hands as he plundered my mouth, taking me further under his spell with each slide of his tongue. I savored the taste and the feel of him against me, the rough abrasion of beard stubble covering my lips, the scent of his spicy-sweet cologne tantalizing my nose, and the press of his thumbs caressing my neck. He held me completely under his spell, as he pulled me deeper into a place I'd wanted to go for so long, that I couldn't remember a time when I hadn't desired him. I'd never felt more cherished, or more wanted than right now. The way he held on to me made me believe he really did feel more for me than I'd ever dared to imagine. No other man had ever compared to James.
I knew no man ever would.
Every person had self-truths—and this understanding of my feelings for James was one of mine.
When he stopped the kiss, I wanted to protest the loss of his lips against mine, but I summoned my self-control and stared into his beautifully mysterious eyes and waited for him to speak. I had a pretty good idea where this might go if he allowed it.
"Tell me right now what you want, Winter." The question wasn't asked softly. The words were delivered with a harsh edge. I sensed he was on the verge of losing his tightly held control, and for some reason it only made me hotter.
"I want you."
"Tell me exactly what that means," he commanded without pause, his eyes boring into mine.
"It means I-I-want…I want to be with you, James." The truth. It was simple, not much more than what I'd just said. I wanted to be with the man I'd been in love with for years. I wouldn't make the mistake of saying those words out loud a second time, but I was totally fine with the fact that the cat was finally out of the bag. Weirdly, I simply didn't care if James now knew how I felt about him. It took the pressure off me somehow. I didn't have to pretend anymore—and I wouldn't. He could do what he wanted with it. I was well past caring.
His eyes flared when I answered him. I could feel the heat behind the gaze, and realized I was taking us into uncharted territory by giving him the green light. "You're sure you want to do this?" His jaw flexed slightly along with the press of his hips against me, where I felt the whole hard length of one impressive erection hitting me right where it counted.
I let his hardness sink into me and rolled with the sensation of pure pleasure that came with it. I nodded slowly. "Yes, I'm very sure. Even if it's just for tonight, I want this with you."
James released me abruptly before leaning over to speak into the intercom with the driver. "Enzo, change of plans. Take us to the Sherborn address, please."
"Of course, sir."
James then turned his attention toward me and helped me back into a sitting position. He took my left hand and intertwined our fingers, mine encased in silk gloves that contrasted sharply with his long, tanned ones. The sight was sexy to me. His grip on me secure and firm, as if he had no intention of letting me go now I'd made my decision to be with him. Read "be" to mean sex.
I had no idea where he was taking me, either. Somewhere in Sherborn. Did he have a home there I knew nothing about?
"Give me your phone." Again, his request was more than a little abrupt, but it didn't bother me. Experiencing this very dominant side of James was a major turn-on to me.
I reached into my silk clutch with my other hand and drew out my phone. He took it and turned it off before handing it back to me. Then he did the same to his own phone. I tilted my head at him, asking my question silently instead of out loud.
"No interruptions of any kind are happening tonight, Winter. Just you and me." I saw the hard edge of his jaw flex. "We are off the grid…and we fucking deserve that."
I swallowed air and nodded at him, my heart pounding furiously.
"Phones don't get turned back on again until tomorrow morning, when we're ready," he added.
"Tomorrow morning?" I whispered weakly.
"Tomorrow. You didn't think I'd let you get away with less than an entire night, did you?" He gave me a dark smile that could only be described as wicked. "You're all mine for the next twelve hours, beautiful."
A shiver rolled through my whole body as the words left his lips.
Chapter Fifteen
JAMES
I want to be with you, James.
Those words were all I'd needed to hear from her—all that really mattered. She wanted me. I wanted her. The truth was out. No more pretending nothing had changed between the two of us. For better or for worse the path had been set. That was the good part in all of this. But there was no disputing the fact I was still fucked.
So very fucked.
Winter presenting herself like a perfect sub with downcast eyes as Enzo drove us to the house was the problem. Scratch that. It was my problem, not hers. My inner craving to dominate was on high alert, screaming at me to go for broke with her. To act on every filthy thing I'd fantasized doing to her, for her…with her. What if I overstepped when we were deep into it and said or did something that scared her, or worse, repulsed her? A flash of the demise of my relationship with Leah shuttered in the back of my mind for an instant like a reminder of exactly where this could lead with Winter if I wasn't careful, or if I revealed too much. I wasn't one hundred percent sure I could rein it in, but my training should make it possible. You didn't become a Dom without learning boundaries, limits, and control. I'd wanted Winter for a long time, and I knew I had to take things very slowly tonight, as if I was training a new sub. But I've never trained someone I love. Winter was my ultimate endgame, but if I wasn't hers? She was young and focused on her career. And I was considering actually following my father's insane orders…but only if I could do it with her.
She'll tell me what she wants. Because that was the kind of person Winter Blackstone was. She was honest to a fault. All I could do was show her who I was and go from there. It was a risk. It could end badly. She could be hurt. I would be ruined—worse than I already was—if I lost her in the process.
I couldn't go through that again. I wouldn't.
Why did something so simple have to be so fucking complicated? Two people who felt something good for each other being together because they wanted to.
She also told you she loves you.
I had to keep reminding myself of that, because I'd never known she felt that way about me. In fact, I'd been shocked hearing those three small words leave her sweet lips. Winter and I had been easy friends for as long as I could remember. We'd always clicked. As she grew up and transformed into the gorgeous woman she was today, I'd noticed…of course. I would've had to be dead not to notice her over the years. But I'd only admired Winter from afar, accepting she my best friend's little sister and wouldn't ever be on the menu for me. But thank fuck…she was.
Because we're barreling down the Freeway of Fucking at high speed with no brakes.
I was a careful person by nature. It was necessary to survive growing up with the manipulative and conceited father I had. Life experiences had made me into the man I was, and Winter would get a partial view into that tonight. It's impossible to hide your true self when you had your cock buried in someone who wanted it there, and the only thing on your mind was when and how hard you'd come. And how many times you made her scream your name through the multiple orgasms you made sure she had. And after that, how many times you could do it all again before you're satisfied, because you knew instinctively you'd never get enough of her.
More. I'd want more than this one night. I wanted all of her all the time. I wanted to be out in public with her on my arm. I wanted to come home to her after a long day. I wanted her as the mother of my future children. I wanted so fucking much…and all of it is with her.
The time for pondering this pointless shit was over, though.