“Ash!” I yelled up the stairs that led to the unused spare bedrooms.
I’d bought that house determined to one day be able to navigate those stairs. They were a physical reminder that, while I was up on two legs, I was a long way from full mobility. They both taunted me and drove me on a daily basis.
I started the daunting task of climbing them, but at the last minute, I talked myself out of it, deciding to check the weeds instead.
I checked every possible room in my house, but she was nowhere to be found. My mind began to race with possibilities, stretching the gamut of “She’ll be back any minute” to “She’s gone and I’ll never see her again.”
Heading back to my room, I grabbed my cell phone, panic building with every step.
Surely, she wouldn’t try to run again?
We’d made some great strides the night before, and we were supposed to have a date that night.
When I rounded the corner of the room, relief settled in my chest—her clothes were neatly folded in the corner. They were a mess the night before, so at some point that morning, she had to have folded and organized them. The relief was short-lived, though, because the messenger bag she used to carry everything was notably missing.
She wouldn’t have left her clothes though.
Would she?
There was only one thing I knew for a fact Ash would never leave behind—and unfortunately, it wasn’t me.
My pulse spiked as I slowly turned toward her nightstand, praying with all of my heart that I was wrong.
“Oh God,” I breathed, stumbling back several steps, almost falling to the ground before getting my crutches back under myself.
The empty spot where her book had once lain gutted me.
She’s gone.
“You need to calm the fuck down,” Till barked as I threw the malfunctioning coffee maker against the floor.
It had been two hours since I’d realized that Ash had taken off, and just like all the years before, I was waffling between despair and anger. For the first hour and a half, I drove around looking for her. But with every passing minute, hope of finding her faded further out of my reach.
Out of sheer desperation, I’d called Till, who had, in turn, called Leo.
The search for Ash Mabie was on all over again.
“No, what I fucking need is a goddamn cup of coffee and a woman who doesn’t run away every chance she gets.”
“Well, I happen to agree with you, but right this very second, you have a broken coffee maker and a woman who may or may not be missing. So let’s calm the hell down and try to figure this out.”
Eliza stopped pacing around my couch long enough to ask, “Do you want me to make a coffee run?”
“No, I don’t want you to make a goddamn coffee run,” I snapped at her.
Till quickly corrected me. “Hey! Watch your mouth. She was trying to help.”
I took a deep breath, closing my eyes and dropping my chin to my chest.
This was not happening.
Not again.
Not when I’d just gotten her back.
“Chill out. We’re going to find her. Just like we did last time,” Till assured.
I pinched the bridge of my nose. “When? In three years, like last time? Just to keep her for forty-eight hours before she runs again? I can’t spend my life trapped inside that vicious cycle!” I yelled without lifting my head.
The problem was that I couldn’t step out of the cycle, either. Not as long as she was part of it.
Till squeezed my shoulder. “What are you saying? You want me to call Leo off?”
“No! I just want someone to fucking find her and make her love me the way I love her. I want her to want to stay with me.” I scrubbed a hand through my hair, completely defeated.
Suddenly, Leo’s voice joined the conversation. “Well, now, you just sound like a pussy.”
My head snapped up to find him and Slate standing behind Till.
Leo took a step forward. “Get yourself together and stop acting like a bitch. Your woman will be here in ten minutes. She was with Liv at a thrift store across town.”
My eyes flashed between him and Slate as I attempted to get my emotional breakdown under control.
Only I couldn’t do that at all.
The sudden rush of relief left me shaky. Leo was right; I had never looked like a bitch more in my life. But I was completely okay with that.
She’s on her way home.
I blew out a loud breath and walked over to the couch, flopping down to hide the effects the adrenaline was having on my already weak legs.
“Awww, she was shopping,” Eliza cooed, joining me on the couch.
I cleared the lump from my throat before announcing, “I’m gonna kill her.”
Till chuckled. “It’s probably easier to buy her a cell phone.”