Not even for Ash.
“I’m still your girlfriend. Nothing has changed!” she cried, attempting to take my hand.
I snatched it out of her reach. “You’re not my girlfriend,” I announced. She was so much more—which was exactly why I’d never be able to keep her.
“What?” she whimpered in a broken voice that absolutely gutted me.
I needed her to go.
I needed to be alone.
I needed her to crawl into my lap and tell me that she’d never leave and she’d love me forever.
“This thing . . . whatever the hell it was, is bullshit. I just brought you here today to make Eliza jealous.” The lie burned my lungs.
With that one childish statement, it became blatantly obvious that I wasn’t the mature one of the two of us. But I needed her out of my life before I begged her to stay.
“You’re lying. You didn’t even know about this party until today.”
“Yes, and you’ve served your purpose. You can leave.”
“You are so full of shit, Flint. I’m not leaving until you tell me the truth about what the hell is going on.”
“I don’t want you!” I yelled, and her whole body tensed at my outburst. Or maybe it had been the words. I couldn’t tell. “That’s your truth, Ash. You’re a criminal whose only future is behind bars. You happen to have a nice set of tits, so I was hoping you’d put out, but children aren’t exactly my thing. So now that Eliza has seen us together, I’m gonna need you to get the fuck out of my life.”
Her eyes went wide, giving her away, but a fake smile stretched her mouth, attempting to cover the pain I had just inflicted. I hated that fucking smile. It was all wrong and I wanted to erase it from existence. And the sooner she got away from me, the sooner I could do just that.
She didn’t budge, and neither did her smile, but her chest heaved as she desperately tried to hold it together.
With shaking hands, she squared her shoulders. “You . . . You told me once that I couldn’t go through life trusting everyone. Thanks for proving that.” She tried to laugh, but it came out as a sob. “You’re wrong about me though. I’m a good person. I’ll prove that.” She pulled her heels off. Tears were streaming down her face when she looked back up. “Since that’s what you really think of me, don’t worry. You’ll never have to see this criminal again.”
I apologized profusely in my head, but anger and self-preservation never allowed the words to leave my mouth as I watched Ash, barefoot and with her head hung low, walk out my life.
I DIDN’T EVEN MAKE IT a full four hours before I regretted all the things I’d said to Ash. I wasn’t sure how anything could work between us, but I had dismissed the idea of even trying entirely too quickly. I just needed a few days to logically work it out in my head. Develop a new strategy for slowing things down between us but still keeping her in my life.
I couldn’t lose her.
I was told that Slate had driven her home from the party. Quarry texted me late that night to tell me that something was seriously off. Ash had cooked dinner that night for everyone and sat at the table with a huge smile, telling her father that she loved him and how much she had loved getting to know Debbie and Quarry. She had hugged them all then spent the rest of the night in her room.
I gave Q strict instructions to keep an eye on her. I had too much pride to actually call her, and part of me was a little scared too. I was positive she needed some time to cool off.
My phone rang the following morning at seven A.M. I was exhausted, and if it weren’t for Quarry’s name showing on the caller ID, I would have sent it to voicemail.
“What’s up?” I answered, wiping the sleep from my eyes.
“I need you to come get me. The cops are here arresting Ray and Debbie.”
I sat straight up in bed. “What!” I yelled, settling the phone between my shoulder and ear so I could transfer into my wheelchair.
“I have no idea what the fuck is going on. About four cars arrived at the house. Cops stormed in and hauled them out. Till’s not answering. I need you to come get me.”
“Where’s Ash?” I rushed out as I headed to my dresser to pull some clothes on.
“I don’t know. She’s not here, and most of her shit has been cleared out.”
“Where the fuck did she go?”
“I don’t know! Just come get me!” he responded.
“Okay. I’m on my way.” I hung up and started dialing Ash’s number.
I put the phone on speaker and tossed it on the bed then struggled to get dressed, pausing every few seconds to hit redial when it went to her voicemail.
“Come on, Ash. Where the fuck are you?” I mumbled, tugged my shoes on.
She still hadn’t answered when I left my apartment, and I had to regretfully give up calling in order to find Till.
After the third time calling, he finally answered.
“I’m headed over there now. Cops just left here,” he informed me without so much as a greeting.