“Mr. Darcy,” I begin my attempt at a proper ladylike English accent. “I am a very selfish creature; and, for the sake of giving relief to my own feelings, care not how much I may be wounding yours.”
I smile in satisfaction at my own joke, but its short lived. His mouth is drawn into a hard line, and he doesn’t seem amused at all.
“Sorry,” I mutter. “It was a joke.”
“One that I didn’t find particularly funny,” he says dryly. “Victoria, I want you. How can I make it any more clear? I want you to agree to seeing me.”
“Seeing you?” I scoff. “I wouldn’t call you fucking me whenever you feel like it, seeing you. Shouldn’t we just call a spade a spade?”
His brows knit together as he frowns at me. “Victoria, it’s not like that. I’m here aren’t I? Talking to you now. Yes, it will be a mostly sexual relationship, but I thought you said you weren’t looking for anything else, anyway?”
Well, he does have me there. Except, it isn’t exactly true. I would love to have more. But I can’t. This is the life I’m forced to accept. Short term glories. It doesn’t matter if I know there can never be more, my heart will still inevitably get crushed by this beautiful man. I don’t know if the thrill in the short term will outweigh the consequences in the end. But I know that while he’s here in my bed, I can’t deny that I still want him.
“Yes,” I say resolutely before I can change my mind again. “I want to fuck… with you.”
He chuckles and squeezes me in his arms, kissing the crown of my hair softly. “You have no idea how happy that makes me.”
Without warning, he rolls me beneath him and moves on top of me. His mouth kisses soft trails from my neck down to my breast. And the same familiar sensations I felt before are pulling inside of me, longing pooling between my legs.
His rigid erection digs into my hip as he assaults my breasts with his tongue. I arch into him, begging for more as my hand grips his cock. I caress his velvet skin hungrily with my palm and he lets out a deep satisfying groan.
He pulls away long enough to roll a fresh condom down the length of his cock. And then he’s on me, inside of me, thrusting wildly. I moan in my lust induced ecstasy, and it spurs him on, harder, faster. I shatter around him in record time and he follows, growling into my ear as he trembles inside of me.
After a few moments to catch our breath he rolls off of me, bringing the palm of my hand to his lips in a gentle kiss.
He strokes my hair, and we lay in silence for what seems like an eternity. There is something off in his voice when he speaks again.
“This isn’t my usual thing, but I like it with you.”
I look up at his eyes thoughtfully, noticing the storm has returned. His facial features aren’t as relaxed now, and I can feel him distancing himself from me already. It’s a feeling I know all too well.
“It won’t always be like this you know,” he says. “I feel it’s only fair to warn you of that. I’m not a romantic type of guy. Don’t get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed having you this way. But I still have needs, and I won’t deny that, for anyone.”
I ignore the harshness of his tone. “So what will it be like, Gabriel? You tell me how our arrangement will work. Don’t hold back any of the gory details on my account.”
He shrugs. “I will tell you when to come to me, what to wear, and I expect you to do it with no questions asked. So long as it doesn’t interfere with your work hours, of course.”
He eyes me wearily, almost like he’s expecting me to say no. Like he wants me to say no. And I don’t know what to make of that, but for a moment, I think he might be trying to push me away.
“I’m not a pizza,” I counter, deciding to give him an out if he wants one. “I don’t just come when you order me to, Gabriel. You can have me when it’s mutually agreed on, or not at all.”
For some reason, he seems relieved by my words. “Well, we’ll see about that, Victoria.”
I roll my eyes at his assumption that I’m so predictable. Even if I am, he doesn’t have to be so damn cocky about it.
“I want to discuss some boundaries,” he states gruffly.
“Okaaaaaaay.” I groan, hating that business-like tone of his.
“Is there anything, sexually, that you refuse to do?”
“Um…” I pause. I hadn’t even thought about these things. Last night I thought I would never see him again. “I don’t know.”
He reaches down and caresses my cheek, his gentle side returning. “It’s okay, we’ll get there. We can try things together, and if you don’t like it, all you have to do is say stop.”
And then we’re over my subconscious supplies. I glance at my twisted fingers in my lap. I like both sides of Gabriel, but a part of me wants to tell him to stop being gentle with me… to only fuck me roughly and use me for his pleasure. But it has nothing to do with the sex and everything to do with my heart.