“Why Victoria? You didn’t do anything wrong. What you did was very brave, and you more than likely saved the lives of your two friends. You could be out free until they can get this mess cleared up. Why would you want to stay in here?”
I choke back a sob, my voice quivering as I speak. “Because, I’m not free. After all these years of running, Eleanore is finally gone, and she’s still messing with me. I don’t want to let myself hope if even for a second I could be wrong, just to end up having it all taken away from me. I will never be free until I can walk out of here knowing that my life is my own. That I can live without fear or being controlled by unknown circumstances.”
Officer Wright gives a slow nod as my words sink in, letting out a deep sigh. “I can understand where you’re coming from, kiddo. You’ve been to hell and back, that’s for sure. But it’s over now, and I have faith that the fine detectives working this case will prove it was self-defense.” He pauses for a moment, furrowing his brow before continuing. “But these things take time, kid. It could be months before all of this goes away. I really think you should reconsider staying in here until then.”
Months. The word is like a knife to my chest. But I don’t have a choice. I refuse to leave, to walk free, worrying about whether or not the charges might stick after all. I refuse to have hope only to have my freedom ripped away again. I won’t let myself hope until all of this is over. And only then will I finally have my life back.
“I understand that, Officer Wright,” I say solemnly. “But this is just something I have to do. I can’t live one more day of my life like that, looking over my shoulder, wondering what’s going to happen to me. Being afraid. I refuse to do it anymore.”
He shakes his head, but I swear I see a glimmer of pride in his eyes. “You really are something kid, I’ll tell you that. Your Dad would be so proud of the young woman you’ve become. How strong you are.” His voice cracks slightly as he pulls an old photo out of his pocket, handing it to me. I almost break down when I see the warm brown eyes staring back at me.
“He had so much regret over bringing that woman into your lives,” Officer Wright continues. “How she hurt you. You were his whole world, you know that kid.”
“I know.” I smile through the tears, rubbing my thumb over the worn photo of my father.
“And I regret every day that I wasn’t able to do more for you. Somehow I knew it would all come down to something like this eventually. I had hoped that Eleanore would stop looking for you, but I knew in my gut it wasn’t true. I never stopped thinking about you all these years you’ve been away. I liked to imagine that you were on a sunny beach in Mexico somewhere, enjoying your life. But it was just a silly dream,” he says.
“A sunny beach in Mexico sounds nice.” I grin. “Maybe I should have considered that. You must have got the shock of your life when you got the phone call.”
“You have no idea,” he says. “I was scared for you, more than anything. But also relieved in some strange way.” He looks up to study my face, still bruised and swollen from my assault. “How are you holding up anyway, kid? Are you doing okay?”
I glance at the photo in my lap, seeking comfort in my Dad’s warm smile. “Yes, I’m okay,” I murmur. “I don’t know, maybe I should feel something else, like more guilt. But I don’t. I was sad when it was happening, I wanted to believe there was still a part of her that was human. I gave her every chance to change how this ended, but she wouldn’t bend. She was so sick in the head she killed herself just to try to ruin my life. And that man, Allan, he attacked me. And he would have killed me if I didn’t shoot him, so I’m not sorry. I can’t feel bad about that.”
Officer Wright pulls me into a tight hug, his chest trembling with repressed emotion as he tries to comfort me. “I’m glad to hear it,” he whispers. “I don’t ever want you blaming yourself for this.”
***
The cell feels lonely when Officer Wright leaves, but he promises he’ll be back soon. He leaves me a parting gift too, but it’s something that I’m not really certain I even want to open. I stare at the crisp white envelope in my hand, wondering who it could be from.
When I finally crack the seal, I recognize the neat handwriting immediately.
Victoria,
I can’t imagine the thoughts that are going through your head right now. So much has happened, and I don’t even know where to begin.