“And that’s fine. He doesn’t expect anything. But you can at least admit I was in good hands.”
The door banged open before Evelyn could respond, and Amarok walked in. The way he looked at her, then glanced away gave Brianne the sickening impression that he knew what had kept her from home. He’d probably gone inside, been told she’d left with Andy Smith, then scoured the lot and—
She refused to entertain the picture her mind conjured up.
Evelyn gestured toward her. “As you can see, you don’t need to keep searching. She was at the Moosehead.”
He hesitated for a second; then he said, “Yeah. I figured that out.”
Brianne saw a muscle move in his cheek and knew the jig was up. There was no point in continuing to hide the love bites on her neck, because Amarok knew exactly where she’d been. “Oh, just tell her,” she said to him. “You’re going to as soon as I leave, anyway.”
“I have nothing to say about it.”
Evelyn’s gaze bounced between them. When Amarok refused to speak, Evelyn’s focus shifted solidly to her.
“I was having sex with Andy in his truck, okay? That’s where I’ve been—having some fun.”
Evelyn stared at her, eyes wide. “You’ve got to be joking!”
When she took off her coat and slung it over a chair, her sister’s jaw dropped.
“Oh my God! You’re not joking!”
Amarok did an about-face. “I’m out of here. I’ve got stuff to do at the trooper post,” he said, and disappeared as abruptly as he’d arrived.
Brianne had to admit it was pretty cool of Amarok not to judge her or tell her how to run her life, especially when he had every reason to hate her for how she’d behaved since she arrived. She almost wished he’d stay. Maybe then Evelyn would’ve said they could talk about it later and Brianne would have a chance to regroup before trying to explain what had been going through her mind when she’d agreed to have sex with a man who was almost a total stranger.
“Your behavior doesn’t seem a bit … juvenile to you?” Evelyn said in the wake of his departure.
It did seem juvenile. She felt humiliated standing there with hickeys on her neck and her hair still mussed from her romp in Andy’s truck. But she couldn’t take back what she’d done. And at least she couldn’t get pregnant. She’d already made that mistake. “I like him,” she said.
“I’m glad to hear that.” Evelyn slumped into a seat. “I’d hate to think you were out screwing some random guy you didn’t like.”
“Stop it! He’s not some random guy. He’s the man who saved your life. And it’s nobody’s business but mine.”
“It’s my business, too, if it means you’re unraveling.” She sounded shell-shocked, which was worse than if she’d been angry.
“Look, I’m going through a difficult time, yes. But I’m not unraveling. I’ll be fine.” She hoped. She felt more certain of it in some moments than others, but she definitely knew she didn’t want to feel guilty the whole time Evelyn was in Boston for making her unhappy, too. “And as for what I said before … You know, about you coming home, I wish I hadn’t said it. You’re obviously happy here with Amarok. You should stay.”
Evelyn shook her head. “No. You were right. I need to come home and take some of the pressure off you. Mom needs me, too.”
Brianne took the seat across from her, and they sat in silence—until Brianne broke it. “I’m sorry about the guilt trip. And I’m sorry about tonight. I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“It’s okay. I’m just glad you’re safe.”
“And so you know, I’ve never done anything like that before. To be honest, I’m not sure why I did it this time.”
“You’re in an unusual situation.”
“But, like I said, I’ll recover somehow. You don’t have to come to Boston to hold my hand.”
Going into therapist mode, Evelyn seemed to calm down as she adopted a professional mask. “Do you plan to see Andy again?”
“I guess. I don’t really know him, but I’ve got another day here, and he’s obviously attracted to me. I figure we could become long-distance friends if nothing more.”
“There has to be some attraction on your side, too.”
Brianne dug at the cuticles of her left hand. She’d liked him a lot more before they’d made love. He hadn’t been a very impressive lover, but they hadn’t had the best surroundings and he’d felt under pressure since she’d been acting as if she needed to leave. She was trying to be understanding about all of that and not make a judgment call too soon. “He’s flattering. That feels good.”
“I can see why.”
“Then I hope you won’t mind that I invited him for dinner tomorrow night. He asked to see me again, and I thought the four of us could eat together—unless you or Amarok can’t take the time, or you’d rather Andy and I ate on our own.” She didn’t want to be alone with him, didn’t want him to think the same thing was going to happen again.
Evelyn’s eyebrows slid up, but she said, “No, you’re welcome to have him over, and I’ll join you if I can.”
Brianne studied her carefully. “Are you sure?”
She nodded. “Positive.”
“Okay. That way, even if Amarok can’t make it and has to stay out late again, at least he won’t have to worry about us. Not only will we be together, we’ll have an armed correctional officer in the house.” She offered her sister a smile in hopes that Evelyn would forgive her, not just for tonight but for the past several days, and was relieved when she seemed willing to let bygones be bygones.
“That’ll be a comfort.”
Again, Brianne wanted to ask her why she didn’t seem to be impressed with Andy Smith. Aside from Amarok, he was the most attractive man she’d seen in the area. But the phone rang.
Evelyn got up to check caller ID. “It’s my attorney friend in Boston.” She glanced at her watch. “Wow, he’s up late,” she added as she answered.
“No, you didn’t wake me,” Brianne heard her say, but didn’t stick around to listen to the conversation. She wanted a shower. She liked Andy—or thought she did—but was annoyed that he’d kept sucking on her neck when she’d asked him not to. And she was more than annoyed—she was downright irritated—once she got in the bathroom, looked in the mirror and realized it was worse than she’d thought.
“Holy shit,” she muttered as she fingered three distinct red marks—obvious hickeys. Why hadn’t he respected her wishes?
She’d have to wear a turtleneck for the remainder of her trip and even for a few days once she got home.
She hoped Evelyn owned a turtleneck, because she hadn’t packed any.
Disgusted with herself for letting the night get so out of control, she turned away from the sight in the mirror and started the shower.
23
Evelyn was still lying awake when Amarok came in. She hadn’t been able to sleep. She’d written Janice at the BOP before leaving work, told her boss that she needed to take a year off, despite the earlier commitments she’d made, and return to Boston and had felt sick to her stomach ever since. She’d lost so much in the past ten days—her sense of direction, what little remained of her security, the confidence that Hanover House was finally on an even keel and the illusion that she’d recovered from her past. But the loss she lamented the most was the distance that had come between her and the man she’d felt so close to only a short time before. Amarok had helped her more than anyone else. He’d offered the intimacy—in mind, spirit and body—she’d despaired of ever finding. She’d thought she was too damaged, that she lacked the ability to trust enough to fall in love after her first love had nearly killed her, but he’d refused to give up on her, and his consistency and tenacity had made all the difference. She owed him a lot, and yet she was leaving him as he feared she would, even before he’d originally expected she might do it.