During the day, I forced my thoughts to Andi.
But nights were completely different, because at night I lost complete control. I couldn’t guard my thoughts.
At night, I yearned for Val.
I thirsted for her.
So many nights I’d stand by her door, my hand lifted to knock, only to back up and return to my bed, to sleep, dreaming of the way she responded to me, the way she kissed me, accepted me, was willing to say yes to me.
I knew she was angry, too.
Hurting.
It was a vicious cycle, each of us only focusing on ourselves, refusing to take that first step. And it was my fault. How the hell was I supposed to expect a girl so young to continually put herself in the line of fire when every single time she did, I took a kill shot?
Frank was still in New York, but he was sending Dante, apparently things had gotten more dangerous, so I was to hide the other twin, put him under the protection of all of our families while Frank flushed out Xavier.
Though he still wasn’t sure if he was going to simply hire a hit on him and offer an abhorrent amount of money, or take him out himself.
Frank had sounded tired, broken down.
Join the club.
I was exhausted already, and it was only six at night, family dinner night. Everyone invited themselves over to my house since Dante was expected to arrive.
Which meant one more night where I had to force a smile and make everyone think everything was okay between me and Val when really I’d never felt more distant from another human being.
The doorbell rang.
I shuffled over to answer, but the door burst open before I had the chance. Tex was carrying balloons, while the rest of the crew filed in after him, each of them carrying presents.
“VAL!” Mil shouted, piercing my ears with her loudness. “Get your ass down here! We have presents!”
Frowning, I watched as each couple went into the kitchen, wine was pulled out, dishes were shuffled around as food was set on the counter.
It was Chase’s turn to cook, which meant we were probably getting some sort of difficult pasta dish.
My breath hitched the minute Val stepped into the kitchen. Her hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, she was wearing tight jeans and a sweater, and she couldn’t have looked more beautiful. Her fresh face was shining as she hugged each of the girls and kissed the guys on the cheek.
Since when had she gotten over her fear of them?
Where the hell had I been?
“Hey!” Tex held out a fist to her, she bumped it. “How’s the car engine sound now?”
“Good.” She sagged in relief. “Thank you so much for coming to my rescue yesterday.”
“The hell?” I barked. “Rescue?”
Tex blinked over at me. “You still live here?”
Nixon smacked him in the back of the head and addressed me. “She had a flat tire on her way home from getting some groceries, and you know how Tex can’t turn down an opportunity to ride in like a white knight.”
“Damn it!” Chase yelled. “Phoenix just tell me where the white horse is!”
“Nope.” Phoenix poured a healthy glass of wine and lifted it in Tex’s direction. Ever since Phoenix had left a note about a white horse for his sister, Chase had been on the hunt.
Sad bastard.
“Why didn’t you call me?” I just had to ask.
Val’s gaze met mine. “I did.”
“But—”
“You didn’t answer.” She gulped as her cheeks burned red. “Anyway, thanks, Tex.” She gave him a small hug then went over and started talking to Phoenix about Muay Thai.
The hell?
She knew what that even was?
I was still frozen in the spot when I saw another wrapped gift make its way to the table via Nixon, who slid it next to the others. Five gifts. For what?
“Why all the gifts?” I asked, completely confused.
All talking ceased.
Shit. What now?
Val couldn’t get any redder if you dumped her in a tank of tomato juice.
“It’s Val’s birthday,” Mo said, her eyes flashing with venom.
“Fuck.” I rubbed my face with my hands.
Tears filled Val’s eyes as she slowly walked backward and then turned on her heel and ran out of the room.
I chased after her.
The scene was too familiar for words, chasing after my wife as she ran out of the house and into the field.
The same field Andi had died in.
Was the one that Val chose to run through.
Of course.
Because that was life.
She stopped suddenly, her body going rigid, before she turned on her heel and marched toward me.
I felt like I needed to back up, but I wasn’t sure why.
Until she punched me in the face, sending me to the ground.
“Shit!” I hissed. “Since when do you punch people!”