Here come the lovers, full of joy and mirth — Joy gentle friends! Joy and fresh days of love! Accompany your hearts! —A Midsummer Night’s Dream
Sergio
I STARED AT the empty kitchen for a few minutes before grabbing two glasses of water and a few snacks.
Memories of Andi flooded my consciousness, but it wasn’t sadness I felt, it was peace.
Finally.
I felt at peace.
Like her ghost was no longer following me around yelling at the top of its lungs for me to get my head out of my ass. I smiled as I remembered the dinner table where she used to bother the hell out of me. It was also the same table she had collapsed against when she almost passed out.
I made my way into the entryway and the sitting room, the table where I’d ripped off her clothes with my knife.
Where she was nearly killed.
I did a slow circle around the room and smiled to myself.
“Thank you,” I whispered to both nothing and everything. Andi’s death didn’t just teach me how to love. She’d taught me how to live, how to survive through the darkness, how to make it to the other side and not feel horror at my broken state but celebrate the victory of making it out alive in the first place.
Without Andi, I don’t think I would have ever fully appreciated Val. Andi helped me become a better person for Val. Had it been Val first, I would have ripped her to shreds, terrified the shit out of her, and most likely ended up getting shot by one of my family members. Andi had been able to handle me when I was my cranky bitter self.
And Val had come along when I needed healing, when I needed to talk, when I needed a friend.
I’d had both.
And like a self-proclaiming prophecy, Andi’s words came back to me.
She’d said she loved me, but that I’d find someone who would set my world on fire, someone who would be more than my friend, more than my lover, she would be my other half.
My soul mate.
I thought it had been Andi.
But, as I started making my way up the stairs, I wondered, if I had it wrong all along.
Andi had been my best friend.
My partner.
My first real love.
The first person in my life who loved me back, who saw me as loveable, who reached past the darkness and flipped on the light.
And Val.
Val was …
I paused.
I had no words for Val.
No way to explain to another human being how deeply she’d uprooted every single vulnerability I’d ever had and planted herself in its place.
I saw her coming.
I studied her.
I still wasn’t prepared.
Val wasn’t Andi.
And I didn’t want her to be.
I was thankful, that as I took that last step into my bedroom, it was Val waiting for me, Val shaking with nervousness even though I’d already seen every inch of her naked body twice by now.
Val, blushing from her rosy flushed cheeks all the way down to her toes.
Val, smiling like she saw me, marks and all, and embraced them.
Val, who, in a complete act of selflessness, didn’t ask me to push Andi away, but simply asked if I could make room for one more.
“I lied,” Val admitted once I walked back into the room with our glasses of water.
I set them on the table and joined her on the bed, pulling her into my arms. “About what?”
“Well, I mean, at the time I made a promise, but I’m going back on it.”
“What promise?”
“Not to kiss you.”
“You broke that a while ago.”
“Right.” She sighed, pressing her palm to my chest. “But you also said that you didn’t want my love, that you wouldn’t do it again, you told me not to fall for you, you warned me.” Another big sigh. “And I fell anyway.”
“I know.”
Val smirked. “Well that was arrogant.”
I kissed her forehead. “I know, because I feel the same way.”
“Please don’t.” Her eyes filled with tears. “Don’t say it unless you mean it.”
“Okay.” I nodded. “I don’t love you.”
Her eyes widened.
“I’ve known you less than a month.”
“True.”
“I will.”
“What?”
“I will love you,” I whispered against her lips. “Because I’m halfway there and I found out your favorite color a day ago.”
“And I know yours,” she whispered. “Brown.”
“The exact color of your eyes. A Valentina brown.”
Her breath hitched as she kissed my mouth softly. “I want to show you something.”
She quickly jumped out of bed. I would be an idiot not to watch as she charged out of the room, still naked, and then came right back in with a stack of paper.
“Here.” She thrust them in my face. “These, were from Andi.”
I started with the first letter.
And burst out laughing.
“Is she comparing me to the beast in Beauty and the Beast?”
“Yeah.” Val smiled. “Though I didn’t know she was talking about you at first…”
We talked about each letter late into the night, until I finally found the last one and frowned. “You didn’t open it?”