I sat on the beach, listening to the waves. The last time I had come to this island, I pretended to be Mrs. Ryel. Now it was reality. I sighed, and placed my hand on my belly. I wished things could be different; that I was like any other new bride, enjoying the beauty surrounding me on my first day as a wife. Wishing wouldn’t help, and I knew that. Another life would mean the absence of Jared. If we had never met, most of the chaos wouldn’t have happened, and the worst-case scenario would have been to find out my father was a different person than I believed him to be. Apart from that disappointment, life would have continued on—mundane and mediocre. I would have married Ryan, and worked at Titan. Bore a child or three. We would have lived day in and day out with a respect and love, facing day to day challenges of ordinary life.
My nose wrinkled. A life without Jared was unimaginable. Coupled with that stipulation, I didn’t want it. Chaos, a constant state of being on alert and uncertain was a respectable tradeoff for a love like his. He didn’t ask for this, either, after all. The danger was what we went through to be together, and it was worth it for him. He never questioned it, and I grudgingly accepted it. It might not make sense to everyone, but then again, they could never understand. Most hadn’t experienced what I had. I’d been waited for, longed after for years. The safety, security, and calm I felt with Jared were unmatched; no one else on earth made me feel that way. No one was held as sacred by their husband as I was, so they couldn’t fathom what one might endure to protect it. Our love, in all its imperfection, was perfect.
It was then that a moment of clarity came over me. From the moment I’d learned the truth, I had fought with the feeling of loss for a normal life, but without Jared, that life wouldn’t have as much meaning. Sure, I was an individual. I was a strong person. I didn’t need someone else to complete me, but I was happier with Jared than without him. More than happy. Why settle to prove that I was free? I was, with and without him. Being with him was a choice—a choice to love and be loved and exist in an affirmative state with someone. Even with the chaos going on around us, it was more than I could have hoped for. More than most hoped for. His love was the purest example of anything a human could feel for another. The more I weighed the options in my head, the less appealing Normal became. It was downright insulting to compare the two. Suddenly I couldn’t remember why I had missed it in the first place, and scolded myself for ever letting Jared feel that I was anything but grateful for every moment he was in my life.
“How are you feeling, love?” Jared said from behind, bringing a tall glass of ice water.
“As if you have to ask. I feel really good. It seems like every day I feel better and better. Is that normal? Aren’t I supposed to feel sick, or tired, or both?”
“Not necessarily. What is normal when you’re carrying our child?” Jared said, taking a seat beside me.
We watched the surf together. The storm from the night before had raged until the early hours of the morning…and there was a good reason that I knew that for a fact. Jared had kept his promise to take his time. I slept for an hour, maybe two, after the sun breached the horizon before venturing to the beach. The ocean was endless, stretching out until it met the sky. The only way to tell one from the other was the slight difference in shade. I took in a deep breath and leaned against my husband.
“What is it?” Jared said, grazing his lips across a small patch of skin on my forehead.
“It doesn’t matter,” I said closing my eyes. I wanted to focus on the sounds of the waves rushing the beach, and the way the breeze blew my hair forward. If it were possible to block the frightening thoughts from my head, I would have. I wanted to pretend that the truths I had come across in recent years weren’t real. But they were, and inconceivable, nightmarish things waited for us at home. Those thoughts made it difficult to relax and enjoy my honeymoon, even with Jared’s tireless reassurance. I had finally accepted my life for what it was, but that didn’t make it less frightening.
“Look,” Jared said, nodding to a spot up the beach.
Samuel stood at least two hundred yards away, too far away for my human eyes to tell if he was watching us or the ocean.
Jared nuzzled the hair just above my ear. “He has been granted a temporary new post.”
“To babysit us?” I asked. “He must be thrilled.”
Jared chuckled. “Something like that. Hybrids don’t have Archs. Have I ever told you that?”
“No, you didn’t.”
“We don’t. Our job to protect humans, that along with our knowledge and abilities makes having our own guardian angel redundant. Not to mention the curse….”