She hurried up the carpeted stairs toward the ballroom. At the open door, she paused.
Dozens of beautifully dressed people sat at white-clothed tables, chatting with one another.
She knew what they were saying: the same things a group like this always talked about, regardless of what city or town they were in. Men talked about jobs and sports. For women, it was school, kids, and diets.
In the corner, a jazz trio pumped out an uneasy rendition of an old Ella Fitzgerald song.
She didn’t need to check her ticket to find her table. There it was, front and center. One of the perks of being Echo Beach’s premier volunteer was prime table placement. Of course, it didn’t hurt that she was—had been—married to one of the town’s very few celebrities.
Allison and Chuck were already seated. Even from this distance, Elizabeth could see that Allison was wearing her usual choice: a black St. John knit. Three other couples were already at the table, talking quietly among themselves and sipping champagne. They were all people Elizabeth knew, some well, some only in passing. In a town this size, everyone knew everyone a little.
There were two empty chairs at the table.
Elizabeth could have done it; she knew that suddenly, certainly. She could have tilted her chin up and walked through the whispering crowd and taken her single place at that double opening.
But why?
This wasn’t her life. It was the one she’d taken on by default. The by-product of Jack’s life. That was why she had so many acquaintances in this room and so few friends.
Long ago, when the girls had been small and money was tight and they’d moved to a new town every two years, she’d discovered that the quickest way to make friends was to volunteer for everything. Town by town, her pattern had stayed the same. Move in, start volunteering, make fragile friendships, move on.
In Echo Beach, she’d automatically shoehorned her life into Jack’s footprint without bothering to question her choices.
Now she did just that.
She didn’t want to be the woman she’d been before. Wasn’t that the whole point of what she’d done? She didn’t want to melt into this crowd, talk about the usual things, and become good-old-Elizabeth, the one to turn to in a pinch. Jack’s wife.
She backed away from who she’d been and turned around. Like Cinderella, she ran down the stairs with her shawl fluttering out behind her and got into her car.
A quick glance at the dashboard clock told her it was six-forty.
The Passionless women meeting started in twenty minutes.
She started the car and hit the gas. It was seven-fifteen when she reached the community college.
Wrapping the shawl tightly around her, she walked briskly through the empty corridors and stepped into the classroom.
“Elizabeth!” Sarah Taylor said when she walked into the room. “We were afraid you weren’t going to make it this week.”
Amazingly, Elizabeth laughed. The welcome was what she’d needed. “I got lost.”
Mina chuckled. “We’re all lost, sweetie. Come on in.”
Elizabeth wound through the circle of women and sat in an empty chair beside Kim.
Kim didn’t smile. “You should have stayed away. This group’ll just drag you down.”
Elizabeth looked at the faces of these women who knew exactly how she felt right now. “I’ve been dragging myself down lately.”
“Really? You look happier,” Kim said.
Before Elizabeth could answer, Sarah started the meeting. “Who would like to begin tonight?”
To her own amazement, Elizabeth raised her hand. She felt a flash of fear when everyone looked at her. “My husband and I separated.”
“And how do you feel about that?” Sarah asked gently.
Once Elizabeth started talking, she found that she couldn’t stop. The whole story came tumbling out. She ended with, “Tonight I tried to go back to my old life, but that’s not right, either. I need a new life, but I don’t quite know how to start. So I came here.”
Mina leaned forward. “I was thinking about you this week. Maybe I’m psychic.” She gave Elizabeth a sad smile. “Anyhoo, yesterday, I was reading the college catalog, looking for classes I could take now that I can drive, and I noticed that a painting class is starting soon.”
Elizabeth felt a little spark of something. Hope, maybe. “Really?”
Mina reached into her leather-patchwork handbag and pulled out a floppy catalog. “I saved it for you.” She walked through the middle of the circle and handed the catalog to Elizabeth.
“Thanks,” Elizabeth said, surprised to realize that she meant it.
After that, the discussion moved around the circle, dipping time and again into the kind of intimacy that was marked by sudden emotion—tears or laughter.
The only one who didn’t speak was Kim. Throughout the whole meeting, she sat stiffly beside Elizabeth, fiddling with a half-empty cigarette pack, snorting derisively every now and then.