“Tyler, this is serious.”
His expression shifts from flirtatious to worried in a heartbeat, and I turn for the door, trying not to let him see that I’m on the verge of crying already. I try my best to stay strong, despite how ready I am to break down over all of this. If I open my mouth I might just scream, so I lead Tyler out of the apartment and up to the roof in silence. Thankfully, he doesn’t attempt to ask any questions on the way up, even when we’re standing in the elevator, several feet apart.
It’s long after sunset by now, almost nearing 10PM, and the sky is a darkening shade of blue as I push open the door to the roof and step out onto the terrace. I scour the area to check there’s no one else here, and when I’m sure there isn’t, I slowly make my way across the concrete.
From behind me, Tyler suddenly places his hands on my waist and nuzzles his nose into my cheek, murmuring against my ear, “Baby, is everything okay?”
His voice only gives me chest pains, and a shiver runs down my spine, twice. I turn my body around in his arms, my eyes crinkling with a mixture of both pain and confusion as I face him. I still can’t believe I’m in this awful situation and I don’t know exactly what I’m going to say yet, but I do know that as I push Tyler’s hands off my waist, the look in his eyes begins to mirror mine.
“Tyler, I need you to listen to me really carefully.”
Nodding, he inhales a sharp breath. “I’m listening.”
It takes me a while to build up the courage to say what I’m planning on saying. It’s the only logical excuse I can think of that would even begin to make sense to Tyler. The only excuse that could justify something like this. Even though my words aren’t the truth, they have to be believable. Unable to look at Tyler any longer, I drop my eyes to the concrete, to his brown boots, and my heart tightly clenches as I dare myself to finally tell him, “I want to stay with Dean.”
“What?” I don’t have to look at him to hear the shock in his voice, to hear the way it cracks at the end. It pains me to hear it. It hurts to know my words are the reason.
“I don’t want to do this anymore,” I say. “I love Dean.”
Tyler’s lips part as he registers my words. The moment he really absorbs them, his eyes immediately dilate with panic. Taking a step toward me, he gently reaches for my wrist. I even catch him glance down at his bicep, at the tattoo of my name. He swallows hard and looks back up. “You said you wouldn’t do this. You said you wouldn’t change your mind.”
Closing my eyes, I pull my wrist away from him and take a step back, forcing myself to keep mustering up words however much I don’t want to. “Seeing Dean again has made me realize that . . . that I want to stay with him. Not you.”
He jerks his head to one side, exhaling a long breath as he walks away from me. Running his hands back through his hair, gripping tightly onto the ends, he tilts his face up to the sky and circles the terrace. When he looks back down again, he balls his hand into a fist and swings a punch through the air. “You can’t do this to me again.”
Right then, my heart shatters. The pieces slice through my chest as my body trembles with guilt. I wouldn’t dare to give up on us again, but it’s out of my control. I have faith, however, that the moment Tiffani leaves New York, I’ll be able to explain to him what’s really going on. I have faith that he’ll understand why I’m doing what I’m doing. “I’m sorry.”
Tears suddenly press at my waterlines, and when I meet Tyler’s eyes, the emerald in his has faded so much that it makes my stomach tighten. He’s shaking his head at me, and I realize I can’t stay up here with him any longer. Turning away from him, I try to blink back the tears as I head for the door.
“Eden, wait,” Tyler calls softly after me, his voice raspy. I hear his feet hitting the concrete as he rushes after me, and by the time I’m inside the building he’s right behind me, his voice pleading. “Please. This isn’t fair.”
“I’m sorry,” I splutter again, refusing to turn around as I keep on walking as fast as I can. I don’t want to take the elevator, because I don’t want to be forced to talk to him in such a confined space, so I take the stairs. I end up jogging down them, two steps at a time, while Tyler runs behind me.