“Not that big of a deal?” Tiffani echoes. She seems to get over the surprise of finding out Tyler and I are still into each other pretty quickly, because now her voice is laced with the glee that she’s trying so, so hard to hide. “But, Eden . . . you’re dating Dean.”
Shaking my head, I turn around and start to walk back to the apartment door. I’m biting down hard on my lower lip and breathing slowly to stop myself from crying. It hurts knowing that the one person who’s aware of my relationship with Tyler is the one person who’s cruel enough to tell everyone. I can tell she wants to, and the fact that she has yet to do so is the most nerve-wracking thing in the world. She’s keeping our secret safe for a reason, and knowing Tiffani, it’s definitely not because she’s trying to be a good friend.
“Wait,” Tiffani calls. I stop walking, but I don’t turn around. I just keep my eyes shut and I listen. “Enjoy your date with Dean. Are you gonna mention that you’re cheating on him?”
I grind my teeth together. I don’t have to look at her to know that she’s smiling right now. She’s loving every second of this. I don’t give her the satisfaction, however, of knowing that her words are infuriating me, because I keep my mouth shut and start walking again.
“Eden,” she calls again once I reach the door to the apartment. I pause with my fingers tightened around the handle. I know I shouldn’t listen to what she has to say, but I can’t stop myself. “Have you gained a couple pounds since I last saw you?”
Her words immediately hit me right where it hurts. It’s a phrase I haven’t heard in years, the type of phrase I used to hear back in Portland and the type of phrase I used to fear more than anything else. I thought I was finally over worrying about my weight, but a split second after the words leave Tiffani’s mouth every single ounce of self-esteem I’ve built up over the past few years disappears and my pulse races as I fight back the tears that press at the corners of my eyes. Even if I wanted to say something to Tiffani, I couldn’t. Even if I wanted to look back at her, I couldn’t possibly bring myself to. Not anymore.
I throw open the apartment door and get myself inside as fast as I can, slamming the door behind me and utilizing every lock possible. There’s no way she’s coming back in this apartment. Not after that.
Breathing heavily, I notice how silent the apartment is, and when I slowly turn around, everyone is staring at me. Rachael and Snake have stopped talking. Emily’s standing alone exactly where I left her, her eyebrows raised. Tyler and Dean are in the kitchen, Tyler with his coffee in hand and Dean with a defeated sort of expression on his face. It’s Rachael I look at for the longest time. Tiffani didn’t throw that remark at me by chance. It was intentional, and the only people in this room who could have possibly told her are Tyler, Dean, and Rachael. It’s not hard to figure out who to blame.
I don’t intend to draw attention to myself, but I fear I might just burst into tears any second now in front of them all, so I call Rachael’s name as I head straight for the bathroom. I push past Dean and Tyler and shut the door behind me, only opening it again a few seconds later when Rachael taps her knuckles against the wood. I reach out and pull her inside, and this time I lock the door.
“What?” she asks immediately, confused.
“Did you tell Tiffani?”
“Tell Tiffani what?”
“About . . .” I take a deep breath and walk around her, leaning back against the sink before glancing up again. If I could see myself right now, I’m pretty sure I’d look devastated, because that’s exactly how I feel. “About me,” I finish. “About why I work out.”
The creases of worry in Rachael’s forehead deepen as she frowns. “I mean, I may have told her like forever ago,” she admits quietly. “She asked me why you were such a running freak.”
“Rachael!” I groan and throw my head back, throwing my hands into my hair and staring at the ceiling. I’m starting to regret ever confiding in her. I’m starting to wish I hadn’t told anyone at all. “Now she knows the best way to insult me,” I murmur as I tilt my head back down to face Rachael. She guiltily runs her thumb over her lips and keeps quiet, unsure of what to say. “She just asked me if I’d gained a couple pounds. Have I?”