Did I Mention I Love You? (The DIMILY Trilogy #1)

Dean looks as though he’s about to protest, but then he just grins and pulls out his keys. “You have to go back out there now.”


So I steal the towel. Holding it above my head like a makeshift umbrella, I run outside to the car with Dean sharp on my heels, and we both dive inside the vehicle as quick as we can. The heating goes on full blast and La Breve Vita’s third album starts up in the CD player and Dean cracks a couple jokes about the towel, which aren’t even funny but I laugh anyway.

“I was right about the rainstorm, see?” He leans forward over the wheel as we make our way to the gig, and he glances up at the sky through the windshield for a moment. He blows out some air and leans back in his seat again. “It’s always so crazy.”

“How long does it last?” I ask. My eyes are fixed on the wiper blades as they struggle to keep up with the amount of rain that’s blurring the windshield, despite already being on their fastest speed. It’s been raining this heavy since morning.

“All day,” Dean says, but his tone is a little off as he grips the steering wheel and concentrates on the road. “Really, it’s hard to say.”

The gig is in the same venue as before, with the same crushed cups scattering the floor and the same cologne wafting around the air. Through the darkness, Dean leads me over to the back again, where we linger by the far wall. No one shoves you out of the way back here. I shrug my shoulders into my hoodie, giving up on getting dry. I just started to dry off in the car when, of course, I had to get straight back out and into the rain again. But Dean’s soaked too, and so is everyone else, so no one seems to give a shit.

“They’re working on a new album at the moment,” Dean tells me over the noise. The band is on the stage, but they’ve paused for a few minutes to drink some water and to tune the guitars. “It’ll be released in January. I’m stoked. It’s gonna be awesome!”

I smile at his excitement and enthusiasm, because it really is adorable seeing him get so hyped up about it all. His eyes are sparkling, but then he seems to think he’s embarrassing himself, because he looks away and rubs the back of his neck.

We’ve arrived just in time for the beginning of the next song, and the lead singer steps up to the microphone. He clears his throat and then squints at the small crowd through half-shut eyes. “It’s awesome to see so many of you here tonight despite the shitty weather,” he says with a hearty chuckle, “and it’s even more awesome that you’re here to see us. We’re about to perform one of my personal favorites from our second album.” The crowd cheers in anticipation of what song it might be, and I can see Dean biting his lip, his eyes glued to the stage. “We wrote this song a few years ago now, and it’s actually a pretty cool story, how this song came to be.” He rubs the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand and then begins to pace back and forth across the stage, his head tilted down and his eyes on the floor. “I had this friend… Let’s call him Bobby. So I had this friend, Bobby, and Bobby was a hell of a guy. I went to college with him and we shared the same dorm building, and Bobby was majoring in law. And you know what? Bobby fucking hated law. Bobby wanted to major in musical theater, but he stuck to law, you know why? Because society is a piece of shit.” He shakes his head and pauses for a moment before continuing. “Bobby went through hell and back to finish that major. He wasted four years doing something he didn’t want to do, because all through high school people talked smack about him because of what he was interested in. You know how Bobby feels now? He feels pissed off that he’s stuck with a bullshit law major. So screw whatever the hell anyone else thinks about you or your decisions. If you’re gay, then hell yeah, embrace that shit! If you want to start up your own paint store, then start up your own goddamn paint store. Stop holding back from being you.” He clears his throat again and steps back into position in the center of the stage, his eyes flickering up to look at us all again. “So if you haven’t guessed it already, here’s ‘Holding Back.’ Enjoy. Tanto amore. Much love.”

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