I pull myself up onto my knees and climb onto him, stretching out my hands and gently grasping his neck. It’s so sudden, but I can’t stop myself. It reminds me of when he took me to the pier, when we kissed in his car, in this exact position. And just like I did all those weeks ago, I press my lips to his once more.
But it’s so slow this time, so agonizing. Tyler places his hands on my waist and holds me tight against his chest, and all while his lips capture mine for long, drawn-out seconds. Over and over again, he keeps kissing me. I almost feel him sigh against me. It hurts to be kissing him, to know that I’ll never get to do it again, but it’s also calming in a way. It’s like closure.
The sound of the rain is drilling into our ears, and our bodies are damp, and my hair is all over the place, and Tyler almost just suffered a mental breakdown, and I’ve cried enough tears to fill the pool in our backyard, and it’s all just so messy.
It sums up our situation completely.
And for that reason, it’s perfect.
Tyler groans as he pulls away. When his lips finally tear themselves away from mine, my stomach drops, and I refuse to let go of him. Instead, I hold him there, his face by mine, and I exhale against his cheek. My eyes are still closed. I’m not sure if his are too.
“Stepsiblings,” I whisper, breathing the words softly yet firmly. “Nothing more.”
“Nothing more,” he confirms, but then his head hangs low and he pulls away from me, so I finally have to let go. He turns his face to his window and places his hands back on the wheel. I think he’s finally given up.
Reaching for my hood and pulling it back over my head, I tuck strands of wet hair behind my ears and rotate my body toward the door. I reach for the handle, pausing for a moment to see if he’ll say anything, but he doesn’t, so I step out of the car.
And just like that, I’m walking away from him. From us.
Quickly, I slam the door shut behind me to stop the rain getting in, and I make a dash across the lawn. I glance over my shoulder and rain blows into my face again, but it doesn’t stop me from seeing Tyler’s car peel out of the driveway and head west. Hopefully he’s making his way home. I stand there, out on the lawn in the pouring rain, waiting until his car disappears into the distance.
The thing I like most about the rain is that people can’t tell whether or not you’re crying. And right now the tears are streaming endlessly down my cheeks and soaking into my hoodie. The wind whips around me, and I turn around and run back to the front door. Thankfully, when I get there Dean is swinging it open for me. I stop the second I get inside, letting the water roll off my face, my messy bun toppling over to one side.
“Are you crazy?” he asks, but he’s laughing. “Hang on, I’ll grab a towel.”
He rushes off into another room, probably the bathroom, while I stand dripping wet next to the living room. I notice that both Jake and Rachael have disappeared. The house still smells like popcorn, and I can hear the low volume of the football presenter commentating on the game, and then Dean comes padding back over to me with a huge white towel in his arms. He unfolds it and throws it over my shoulder, and I immediately pull it around me and dry my face. I feel like I’m drowning.
Dean still has a playful smile on his lips, but the more he studies my expression, the more it fades away. Soon he’s frowning. “Are you okay?”
“I’ll be fine,” I say, but it’s bullshit. Everything hurts and everything feels broken. I don’t know if I’m going to be fine, but I can’t let Dean know this, so I sniff and nod to the staircase. “Are they with Tiffani?”
“Jake and Rachael? Yeah.” He bites his lip as he laughs. “I look like a crappy friend standing down here instead of offering her moral support, but I was actually about to leave.”
“Leave?” I echo. “Where are you going?”
“La Breve Vita is playing another gig downtown,” he says quietly, and I like the way he mumbles, shy about the fact that he’s totally obsessed with this band. It helps to distract me. “I was gonna catch the end of their set after the movie, but I’m going to head over there just now instead. Hey, you can come! If you want to, of course. I mean, you’ve probably got better things to do with your time and you seem kind of upset, but I’m pretty sure they’d help cheer you up.”
“I’ll come,” I say gently, and I can’t help but smile as I let down my hair and attempt to towel dry it. Suddenly Tyler’s obsession with distractions is starting to make sense. Right now, I’m trying to distract myself with Dean, because the less your mind thinks about the things that are tearing you apart, the better you feel. “I really like them.”
“Are you sure?” He tilts his head and studies me, taking note of how soaked I am.
“It’s just water,” I say with a shrug, and then drop the towel to the floor as I gather my hair and throw it up into a damp ponytail. Right now, I couldn’t care less about how I look. My eyes and my cheeks burn. They sting. “I’ll dry out on the way there.”