“I’m glad you called,” said Cindy, really meaning it. Tara shouldn’t be alone right now with this information and all the changes it brought to her life.
“My wedding is supposed to be the most wonderful time of my life,” Tara spoke fitfully, “and it’s turned into the worst. I’ve never felt so much pressure in my life – from everybody. Seems like nobody cares about how I truly feel, only about the wedding. Lynch’s mother refuses to believe anything is wrong. She’s acting like everything’s normal, making toasts with her friends to the happy couple.”
“Not good,” Cindy commented, “no one wants to get married under the gun.”
Tara flung her head back suddenly and looked relieved. “It’s great to hear you say that. I even said that to Lynch. I said let’s run away and spend time with your son. We have to get to know him, he has to become part of our lives. We can’t get married otherwise. Once we all work it out, then we can have a small, quiet wedding somewhere else.”
Cindy was startled by the strange plan. “How did Lynch react to that?” she asked.
“He didn’t,” Tara grew quiet, “he’s been numb and silent, unwilling to say anything more about it to me. I guess he thinks if he pretends it isn’t happening long enough, it will all go away. I’m sure he’s also scared to death about how his mother is taking it. Lynch does whatever he can to make her happy. But, yesterday I told him a man whose life is run by his mother is not the man for me. I said these decisions are up to us, they don’t affect your mother.”
“But, of course they affect his mother,” said Cindy. “The two of them seemed joined at the hip.”
Tara took exception to that. “After Lynch’s father died, his mother asked him to take over the business. He works with his mother side by side. What’s so bad about that?”
“Nothing,” said Cindy. “It can be a wonderful arrangement at times.”
“That was one of the things that drew me to Lynch,” Tara went on, relieved to be talking about it. “He cares so much about his mother, is such a great son. When he told his mother that I was so happy they were close, she decided I was the perfect wife for him. Since then she’s been doing everything she can to help us along. Everything! She’s paying for this entire wedding herself.”
Cindy realized in a flash that Raina had become the mother to Tara that she’d just lost.
“Raina’s not a bad person,” Tara insisted, “even though she was rude to me the other day and can be bossy.”
“I guess she was just shocked to see her grandson,” said Cindy.
“Must have been that,” Tara agreed.
Cindy saw how hard to would be for Tara to bail out of the wedding. It was not only Lynch, but also Raina that she’d been letting down.
The car drove steadily along and Cindy looked out of the window as they were leaving the main part of town. They drove down a hill into a winding road that seemed to be leading through a valley. As they made their way the dim light left of the day shone over all kinds of flora and fauna and made it seem as though they were all surrounded by a strange, misty, glow.
“Where exactly are we headed?” Cindy asked, feeling a bit disoriented.
“To the village where Bala lives with her son,” said Tara. “It’s a small fishing village in St. Marteen, on the Dutch side of the island. The boy was raised here, it’s his home. He comes from a completely different world than we do. It will take time for him to acclimate.”
Cindy was confused. What was Tara thinking of? It became clear in that moment how fixated she was on the boy. Cindy had a sudden, frightening thought that Tara might want to grab him away and keep him for herself.
“What will Paulie have to acclimate to?” Cindy asked cautiously.
“To a new life,” Tara murmured. “He’s going to have a lot to get accustomed to.”
Cindy still didn’t know what Tara had in mind. “You’re overly involved with the boy,” Cindy said plainly, glad she was along on the trip.
“Not at all,” said Tara.
“Over involvement can lead to obsession,” Cindy continued, unwilling to let it go. “Sometimes we build fantasies about someone that have nothing to do with what’s possible. This boy does not belong to you.”
Tara shivered suddenly. “Okay, so maybe I am over involved,” she replied in a hushed tone. “But I lost a brother and never got him back. My mother’s first child died in childbirth.”
My God, that’s it, thought Cindy, Paulie is reminding her of her lost brother.
“All my life my mother told me how wonderful it was that I was born and replaced him. She never knew how much it hurt me when she said that.”
“I’m sorry, Tara,” she remarked. “No one person can replace another.”
“You can say that again,” said Tara. “And now my wedding is coming and both my mother and brother are gone. Doesn’t Lynch realize how lucky he is to have a living child? How can he just forget about him?”