“It didn’t work, though, did it?” said Rodney, tapping his foot on the ground again, more insistently.
“No, it didn’t,” Mattheus snapped. “But that doesn’t mean I didn’t try!”
“Trying never gets the gold ring,” Rodney spit out.
“What does?” Mattheus snapped.
“Bravery,” said Rodney, “being willing to face the whole rotten truth.”
*
Mattheus walked home from the police station slowly after the interview. Rodney’s words really stuck with him, like the wind in his face, returning and hitting him. Be willing to face the whole truth. Mattheus had probably said those very same words to Cindy, when they were working on cases together. Face the truth bravely, keep an open mind, don’t jump to conclusions, give everyone a fair shake. Every one. It was what made this work so endlessly fascinating, being able to look at a person or situation through all kinds of different lenses, wading through false personalities, sorting out truth from lies.
It was one thing to face the truth about someone else’s life though, not so easy when the mirror was turned around, and you were looking at yourself in it.
Mattheus rubbed his face with his hands. It was getting warm and sticky out now. The city had already awakened and cars were driving, horns tooting, motor scooters rolling by. He knew he needed to call Cindy from the lobby and talk things over with her. She was probably waiting to hear any developments so they could decide what next steps to take next.
Mattheus got to the hotel and walked into the lobby slowly. It was a great hotel, a bit out of the way, but he liked it here. It had only three floors, was spacious but intimate, filled with people, and still you had a sense of privacy. There was a big veranda in the back, with wicker tables, palm trees and a great view of the water, where they served delicious food and great drinks. Even though it was early, he wanted to order a white Russian, kick up his legs and just chill awhile. Working on this was harder than he’d expected.
He knew he should call Cindy and have her come down and join him, but the thought of seeing her now, didn’t thrill him. It felt more like a task than something he really wanted to do. The guys had been right about that, it was rough working on this case together. It was rough even seeing her. Things had taken a turn for the worse so quickly in Grenada, he hadn’t had a chance to come to terms with it. It reminded him in a way of what happened with Shelly. Here one minute, gone the next. Women couldn’t really be trusted, Mattheus thought, they were creatures of moods and odd habits. Just when he thought things were great, they’d turn, and he’d be left alone again.
Suddenly Mattheus felt someone standing behind him and turned around swiftly.
Cindy stood there, dressed in a lemon, linen dress, her hair pulled back off her face, looking younger than he remembered.
“Forgot you had a partner on the case?” she asked, walking around him and sitting down at his table.
“I just got here a few minutes ago,” he said.
Cindy lifted her hand to her eyes to shade them from the sun which was growing stronger as midday approached. “You haven’t checked in with me hardly at all since we got here,” Cindy said.
“Want something to eat?” asked Mattheus.The last thing Mattheus
wanted was to be scolded at the moment. “We were all at Green Pebble Beach together last night,” he said.
“But we never talked about it,” said Cindy. “In fact, we haven’t discussed the case at all.”
Mattheus nodded glumly.
“Look,” she went on, “I know what a nightmare this is for you. That’s why I’m down here with you.”
“That’s the only reason?” Mattheus looked up at her directly.
“I care about you, Mattheus. I want to help.”
“I appreciate that,” said Mattheus.
“But you can’t shut me out.”
“I’m not shutting you out.” This was not a conversation he was up for at the moment.
“You are. You’re still upset about my leaving Grenada,” Cindy went on, as the waiter came and stopped by their table.
“We’ll have two bowls of spaghetti and a house salad,” Mattheus broke in, ordering for both of them, taking control. Cindy was right, he was shutting her out and it felt good to do it, too. The last thing he wanted now was to need her. It was routine business, having lunch together, they didn’t have to complicate things. He’d stay professional about everything. Then he’d go back up to his room and think things over alone.
Cindy took a glass of water that was on the table and drank it quickly.
“I’ve got to leave right after lunch,” she said, “I’ve made appointments to talk to some people about Shelly.”
“Who?” Mattheus was startled. Cindy had arranged it herself, without mentioning a word of it to him.