"Six months."
"But you can't hide in the hotel room, Harlow," he said, kissing my forehead. "You have to try. I know you're scared without your family nearby. You're strong enough to do this though."
Studying his face, I sighed. "If you promise we can go home in six months, I promise to try."
"I promise."
Rafael kept his promises and so did I. The next day, I joined him on the search for a downtown condo. We found a brand new building connected to a two-story grocery store. Rafael was in love. I'd be able to shop and eat meals at the store's mezzanine floor without leaving the safety of the property. The apartment complex provided security codes for the elevator, so only those on the same floor could reach it. Our view from the balcony wasn't much during the day. At night though, the city came alive and we often enjoyed eating with the patio doors open.
I helped Rafael organize his office in a large warehouse in an iffy area of town. He had plenty of elaborate ideas. He wanted an indoor shooting range. He also designed hidden rooms for weapons and spots to act as fallback positions. Whatever he thought might happen, Rafael prepared for war. He even paid the local gang to keep an eye on the building. Most of all, he made clear to them and anyone else how Ramsey Security wasn't a company to challenge.
Houston officially became my home when my family visited. Mom made a huge deal out of the connected grocery store while Dad wanted to try out all of the restaurants in walking distance. Winnie looked around our condo then smiled at me. In that moment, she knew I wasn't moving back to Ellsberg.
We visited often though. Our weekends in Alabama to see Rafael's parents ended as soon as I got pregnant with our first baby. Celine and Antonio bought a house in the Northern Houston suburbs. They didn't want to miss a single grandparent moment.
Pregnancy was easy, but I feared the baby part. I even told Rafael we should have waited. I'd only wanted a baby because I was competitive with my friends. I wasn't ready!
"I'll take care of him once he's born," Rafael reassured me. "You can just sit back while I do all the work."
Rafael wasn't kidding either. On day one, he swept Xavier into his arms and kept him close for the next week at the condo. I hated breastfeeding and the sound of the baby crying. I even second-guessed his name, though Xavier was one of the few French names I liked. Miserable with hormones and fatigue, I even hated Rafael a little bit.
Yet following him around the condo as he carried our little baby in his big arms, I learned to chill out. My husband was hypnotic. Rafael hummed songs I'd never heard before, soothing me along with Xavier. Never seeming tired at all, he changed diapers, prepared bottles, and cared for Xavier. I watched the man I loved with the baby we created and craved to be close to both of them. Soon, I smiled more than I cried. My hormones eventually calmed and I bonded with our son.
"You are an amazing father," I said, leaning against Rafael while holding Xavier.
"I do have a way with babies. Kids have always loved me. Even in Mexico, I was their favorite."
Rafael spoke of his time doing missionary work without the rage about what came later. He hadn't forgotten his past, but learned to view that time in a different way. I followed his lead, watching my family DVD without feeling guilty to have survived. Bad things happened, but life went on. Sometimes, the pain continued, tearing a person apart. Occasionally though, an amazing person came along to heal the pain.
Epilogue ~Saint
Harlow had no interest in running the offices at Ramsey Security. She also lacked the killer instinct to go on assignments. For the first few months in Houston, I didn't know if Harlow would find her place in our new life besides standing at my side.
After a bumpy start, motherhood suited her. Family kept her sane all of her life, first in Phoenix then in Ellsberg. Once in Houston, she focused on me then the kids. She bonded easily with my parents. We also visited Ellsberg once a month. As long as Harlow surrounded herself with family, she excelled.
"Thank you," she whispered every night as we dozed off.
"Thank you more, dreamcatcher."
Her smile was the last thing I saw each night before we slept. Her bed head was my first sight in the morning.