Holding her tighter, I sighed. “When I got back from Mexico, I thought everything would be different. It was for me, but the world looked the same. People had gotten married or had kids. Bought houses or moved away. Life continued for everyone except me.”
“We do it too. People right now are suffering and dying and we're going on with our lives. In fact, I’m happier than I’ve ever been.”
I couldn’t help smiling. “I keep waiting for me to lose control again. With you, I should be overwhelmed with all these feelings. I should be thinking crazy, but I'm calm. I know what I want and I'll wait for it. I will also kill anyone who stands in my way. Everything is very clear to me.”
Harlow cuddled closer to me. “I love when you make crazy threats. My nipples got hard and everything.”
“Why don’t I carry you to bed and kiss away those tears. How do your nipples feel about that?”
Setting aside the album, Harlow climbed into my lap and wrapped her arms around my neck.
“We shouldn’t take any chances. You should make those threats while fucking me.”
I stood up and carried her to the bedroom. “The good news is I’m an ace student. You just tell me what you need and I’ll give it to you.”
Harlow made a noise somewhere between a squeal and moan. In this place with this woman, we were just two people in love. Nothing would ever be allowed to interfere with this simplicity. Even if it meant spilling blood.
Chapter Forty One ~ Harlow
Feverish dreams left me tired on our last morning at the cabin. Yet I awoke wanting Rafael inside me. Almost as if I feared this amazing feeling might end once we returned to the hotel.
More than willing to oblige my morning hunger, Rafael fucked me lazily. I came twice before he finally relented.
“That’s how you make sure a girl wakes with a smile,” he said, his cock twitching inside me.
“Will you fuck me like this when we’re at the hotel?”
“Is that a real question?”
I shrugged while he rolled off me, just enough to reach for a drink. We each took a gulp then I sighed.
“It’s easy to forget the world out here.”
“The world isn’t the problem, Harlow. The problem has always been the scars inside us. We take them with us wherever we go, but they’re less painful now. At least, they are for me. I can think about Mexico without feeling rage. I can let myself remember the smell and heat of the cell, but I don’t lose myself now. You keep me anchored. You’ll do that at the hotel or in Houston or anywhere else we go in life.”
I stared at him in awe that this incredible man loved me. If I were him, I’d choose someone better in every way. Yet he wanted me. Grabbing onto my good luck, we didn’t leave the bed for another half hour.
After a shower, we drank coffee and ate bagels on the porch. Inside the cabin, the bedding ran through the wash. I’d tried to de-sex the house as much as possible, but Vaughn and Raven knew why I wanted the cabin. They couldn’t act shocked now, could they? Of course, the impending teasing was inevitable.
“My mom will want you to call her mom,” Rafael said, finishing his second cup of coffee and third bagel. “She always wanted a daughter. You should expect a lot of smothering.”
I smiled. “I’m pretty good at hugs. I never offer them first, so tell her I’m not a bitch if I hold back.”
“She won’t think that. Mom will be so happy I have a woman. You could be a raging monster and she’d still love you. My behavior over the years has caused the bar to be set really low. You’re welcome.”
Laughing, I reached over and caressed his cheek. “You’re so damn smart.”
“I nabbed you, didn’t I?”
Again, I imagined someone better for Rafael. A tall lanky woman with exotic looks to match his and a knowledge of the world I lacked. The morning sun shined against his rich skin, making me feel small and ordinary in comparison. Those dark eyes held a hint of humor as he thought of his mom. No doubt, his family would wonder the same thing I did. Why had Rafael settled for me?
“Mom loves making her world famous jambalaya which is nearly inedible. You'll have to pretend it’s great though.”
“I’ve never eaten jambalaya before. I’m sure I’ll like it.”
“No, you won’t,” he stressed. “It’s awful. She drowns it in black pepper and cayenne. I don’t know how she can’t tell it’s awful. We all pretend it’s great because the recipe was handed down in her family for generations. The problem is somewhere along the way, something in the recipe got jacked and now it’s terrible. No one has the heart to admit it to Mom though. She’s too proud of keeping the tradition alive.”
“My mom makes this one casserole that is super healthy, but tastes awful. We lie and eat it up then pray she doesn’t make it for a while. I’ve got the fake smiles down. An iron stomach too.”
Rafael studied me then a smile slid across his face. “My family is going to love you. Don’t worry.”
“I’m not,” I lied, but he was onto me. “My family is iffy towards you. I think it’s the killer thing.”