My hands gripped his shirt as a lustful need rushed over me. Even in Saint’s arms, I felt him leaving.
“You’re feeling raw now,” Saint said, suddenly sweeping me into his arms. He walked to the couch and sat with me in his lap. “I pulled you close then shoved you away. I said yes then no then yes again. I know what it feels like when people play mind games. It’s exhausting to be toyed with even if that person doesn’t mean to hurt you.”
“Don’t talk down to me,” I muttered as he pressed my head against his shoulder.
“I’m trying to be gentle. Humor me.”
Grudgingly, I rested against him. His touch felt perfect against my bare legs. His skin smelled good enough to taste, so I pressed my lips against his throat. Saint exhaled as my lips sucked harder.
“Stop,” he whispered.
“Why?”
“Too much temptation,” he said, leaning his head back on the couch. “I haven’t felt lust in so long. You feel too damn good. I want to take you into the bedroom and not leave for a few days. Hell, maybe weeks.”
My body flushed with need. Yet my brain replayed ugly memories, leaving me unable to say more than, “No.”
Saint wrapped me tighter in his arms. “That’s why I asked you to stop.”
“We’ll go slow,” I mumbled. “I can do slow. I'm strong enough for that.”
“This is enough for me right now. Holding you and knowing I’m not rough or greedy. Knowing I’m not just a killer.”
“Will you ever tell me your real name?”
“Soon, but not here,” he said, glancing around. “I’m too paranoid someone might be listening.”
I followed his gaze around the room. “My middle name is Edith.”
Saint laughed quietly. “Mine is Angel.”
“Really?”
“Mom told everyone how much she wanted a girl. When I came along, people thought she was disappointed, so she named me Angel to show people what a blessing I was to her.”
I lifted my head and smiled at him. “Hot damn. You’re a frigging mama’s boy.”
“Of course. All the best badasses love their moms.”
My lips grazed his jaw and we both stilled. “I love both of mine, so I think that makes me a double badass.”
“Definitely,” Saint said quietly.
I wanted to talk more, but everything I ached to say was wrong. We both fell into silence. Soon, Saint left me to get cleaned up after the swim. The entire evening was quiet even during dinner at a diner. We stayed in our heads to keep from saying or doing anything that might push us too far too fast.
Tomorrow brought another paintball match and one less day with Saint in my life.
Chapter Twenty Six ~ Saint
Lenny was gunning for Harlow. I caught him sizing her up a few times as everyone prepped for the second day of paintball. He didn't check out Cooper or the Rutgers twins. He didn't hunt Judd who referred to him as Wendell. He wasn't gunning for Vaughn who “accidentally” dumped beer on his shirt. No, Lenny was eyeballing my girl because the fucker was a coward.
I’d embarrassed him days earlier and he pretended to be fine. Yet men like him stewed in their self-pity until it turned to rage. Even wanting revenge, he wouldn’t come for me. The ball-less wonder instead planned to shoot Harlow as my punishment. I doubted he would aim for her outer thigh either.
With no reason for me to warn Harlow, I wore my nice guy mask even if my temper raged. The killer in me wanted Lenny on his knees, fruitlessly begging. If I wasn't wearing my mask at that minute, Lenny likely would have pissed his camo pants. With my mask, no one was the wiser except Harlow apparently.
“You cool?” she asked, caressing my arm and sending me into heat.
“I like when you pet me that way. Let’s ditch the game and go somewhere private.”
Studying me, Harlow considered saying yes. She was thinking about how good it felt in my arms. She was remembering my lips on hers. Noticing her breathing speed up ever so slightly, I waited for Harlow to agree to sneak off with me.
“I made a commitment to my team to pretend like I cared.”
Running my finger across her cheek, I accepted how throwing her over my shoulder and running away was off the table.
“Good luck pretending. I only made a commitment to show up. I’ve done that much, so I’m pretty much ready to ditch this crap and go have fun.”
Harlow grinned. “Get shot early.”
“Is that your plan too?”
“No,” she said, giving me a wink before joining Vaughn nearby.
Narrowing my eyes, I watched her ignore me. I knew she felt my gaze on her and she liked it. I sent her dirty thoughts about us in a hot tub. Somehow, I knew she was thinking about us too. Just before walking into the woods, Harlow couldn’t ignore me anymore and glanced back over her shoulder.