Damaged and the Outlaw (Damaged #4)

I wished to steal away all of her fear and pain. “Say what you want. Convince yourself we’re nothing to each other. When you go to bed tonight and it’s quiet and you let yourself relax, you’ll think of how I love you and you’ll know it’s true.”


Raven hid her face against my back and said nothing. Not as we drove to Lark’s house or when she climbed off. Before she could disappear inside, I took her by the arm and kissed her gently. Right then, Raven needed soft and I needed her to find her way past the fear. I hoped my tenderness helped her get through what I suspected would be a difficult night.





Chapter Nineteen – Raven


My heart hurt and I felt like I might throw up. Entering the house, I ignored Aaron who answered and rushed instead to Lark on the couch. My sister knew me better than anyone. No, maybe not better than Vaughn. He understood me, but that only made the pain worse.

Lark frowned at me as I knelt next to the couch. I took her hands and stared panicked into her bright green eyes.

“Don’t judge me,” I whimpered like a baby, instead of her big sister.

“What…?”

Sobbing, I clutched at her and Lark instantly wrapped her arms around me. I never felt as low as I did right then. If Vaughn died, I would be nothing. I feared his death more than anything.

Crying myself out, I cuddled Lark who caressed my head.

“Why would I judge you?” she finally asked.

“Crying is for losers.”

“I cry.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that tiny chicks get special rules?”

Lark smiled down at me. “Did you have a fight with Vaughn?”

“I dumped him.”

“Why?”

“He said he loved me.”

“Makes sense.”

Sitting up, I took her hand in mine. “I saw my dad tonight and you know what he said?”

“Something stupid?”

“He said he didn’t want me around his club because everything I touched turned to shit.”

“Your dad’s an idiot.”

“He has a point.”

“When I said the same about Mom, you said I was wrong.”

Rolling my eyes, I glanced at Aaron who was messing around in the kitchen so we could have a little privacy.

“When I left, you built something great. I feel like I jinx things and I can’t jinx Vaughn. He’s too special.”

Tears welled up in my eyes and Lark hugged me again. “It’ll be okay.”

“Vaughn walks into a room and makes everything better. He shouldn’t die for doing something good. I can’t let him die.”

“You’re not the one putting him in danger.”

“I have this bad feeling that something will happen to him if I say the words.”

“You’re not a jinx,” she said, wiping my face. “You’re what he needs.”

“You don’t know that.”

“Of course, I do. I’m very wise.”

Despite my panic, I laughed. “Like Yoda. Maybe the wisdom comes from your size.”

“Don’t make me smack you when you’re already upset, Raven.”

Grinning, I felt another wave of panic rush over me. “I keep seeing him dead. I need to save him. Maybe I can pay someone to kill those fucks in Tucson.”

“With what?”

“I have some money.”

“Even if you had enough, who would you hire? The guys in the club won’t do anything without Cooper’s okay.”

“He’s taking too long to do anything,” I whimpered. “Cooper’s going to let them kill Vaughn. I need to do something.”

“I don’t want to interrupt,” Aaron said.

“Then don’t.”

Ignoring me, Aaron continued, “I care about Vaughn too. He’s my friend and I want him to live a long life with his balls rolling around in your purse. Mostly, I want to mock him for claiming he would never fall for a chick. As much as I want him to be okay, you need to give Coop some slack. The guy is twenty two, newly married with a kid on the way, and he’s been the president of the club for a few months. He wants to do the right thing and that’s not always easiest to know. What’s best for you and Vaughn might not be what’s best for the club. Coop has more than one life in his hands.”

Realizing Aaron was irritated, maybe even angry, I thought to slug him. I didn’t want rational. I wanted emotional. I wanted someone to save Vaughn even if other people suffered. My heart only cared about one perfect man.

“I get it. I do, but that’s all logical shit and I’m not feeling logical. I’m afraid and my fear says I need to do whatever possible to save Vaughn.”

“I know, but you don’t have the kind of money that would be necessary to get someone capable of taking out a few members of a motorcycle club.”

“How hard would it be really?” I asked. “Bailey said it would be like four guys that needed killing.”

“You start spilling blood and you can’t always decide when the blood stops flowing. Even if you could hire someone to travel to Tucson and he was able to ambush four badass killers, he would have the club on his ass forever. The Devils are linked to drugs and gun running. You think they’ll just let your hit man walk away? You think they won’t come after you and Vaughn for payback? It won’t be four guys.”