Damaged and the Outlaw (Damaged #4)

The only way I calmed myself was to imagine those nights hiding in the closet with Phoenix and Lark. Cuddled together, we were safe in each other’s arms as Margo and her asshole husband fought. I couldn’t even remember the fucker’s name anymore. One day, I might forget the little golden highlights in Phoenix’s hair or the freckles on the tip of his nose. I hated to think his life meant to little.

Overwhelmed with those memories, I wanted to see Lark and hold her against me like I did in the closet. I couldn’t though. I was banged up and she was likely resting for the evening. Having ditched her to run away, I was on the outside now.

Walking past Trina as her friend patched up her face, I just wanted to get outside where I could breathe. In the hallway, people tried talking to me. Yet, I heard nothing more than Lark’s sobs as I jumped into the pool to save Phoenix.

By the time I got into the dark night, I wiped hard at my wet eyes and told myself to get a grip. He was dead and had been dead for longer than he lived. That awful day couldn’t be changed and he wasn’t coming back. Crying was pointless.

Hearing footsteps on the gravel parking lot, I glanced back and saw Vaughn approaching. I turned away and wiped at my eyes with more vigor. Crying was embarrassing enough without Vaughn watching.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Something about his tone and the scent of his chocolate body spray relaxed me too much. I dove against him and hugged him the way I couldn’t hug Lark. Vaughn tensed when I first grabbed for him then relaxed against me. His arms wrapped around me and he stroked my head. Soaking in his strength, I was safe with Vaughn and I needed to feel safe.

“I’m glad you were here,” I mumbled against his chest.

Vaughn tensed and I finally let him go. Staring up at him, I saw something in his expression that I hadn’t seen before. Vaughn stepped back. Not in a real obvious way, but I felt the distance between us. It killed me that he wanted out. Well, not out. We weren’t together and never would be. I knew this fact, but maybe he didn’t know I knew.

“I get the score,” I told Vaughn. “I know we’re just friends. You look at me like I’m in love with you, but I left town and people got used to me being gone. My friends all have men and some have kids. Lark has Aaron and needs to rest. The people I’m used to relying on are busy with their lives, so I grab onto Bailey and you. That’s all it is.”

“I know.”

“Do you? The look on your face seems like you think I’m a needy bitch. I mean, if you’re just sick of having me around or need a break or whatever, I get that. If you’re thinking I’m holding onto you because I expect something from you like dating or whatever, then don’t worry.”

Vaughn looked at me for a long time. I suspected he was wondering how to tell me to fuck off. He had that look on his face and I waited for him to say the words.

“Do you like to bowl?” he asked.

Remembering what Aaron said, I nearly jumped up and down in relief. Instead, I only shrugged. “Sure. I’m pretty good too. Why?”

“We could go bowling. I should warn you that I’m like championship bowler good. I’ll crush you.”

“If you’re so good, why didn’t you go pro?”

“Peaches, don’t be stupid. I’m too damn hot to be a pro bowler. I don’t even have a gut to work with.”

Caressing his hard stomach, I smiled. “I’m sorry your good looks kept you from your dream.”

A grinning Vaughn cupped my face and kissed me hard and hungry. I met his need with my own. Forgetting about friends with benefits or boundaries, I only knew he felt strong and safe. He felt like home and I didn’t want to let go.





Chapter Twelve – Vaughn


I grew up in a bowling alley. My mom started as the cashier when I was little and ended up as a manager by the time I was in middle school. Every time we moved, the one constant was the bowling alley. Every evening, I did my schoolwork there, ate my dinner there, and entertained myself there. My afterschool friends were all league people, mostly the elderly. My father figures were the older guys who showed me how to bowl. Often the regulars would help me with school projects and they were the ones who threw me birthday parties when my mom couldn’t. All of it ended when Mom became Ted’s old lady and my life revolved around the motorcycle club instead of the alley.

Stupid as it was, bowling was a special thing for me. I didn’t take chicks on dates to the alley. Ever. Taking Raven to the alley was a mistake. I was already having trouble separating what I wanted from her and what I could have. I need more barriers between us, not less. Except when I asked if she wanted to bowl, she was too excited for me to change my mind.