Damaged and the Knight (Damaged #2)

“You want to move here?”


Judd shoved his hands into his pockets. “I want to have a home. Not my place with you living in it, but a real home for us. A place for the cats and a kid one day. I don’t want a house though or a yard. I can’t do that suburbia crap. If that’s what you want, I can fake it, but this is the kind of living I like. I don’t want to mow lawns or talk over fences to soccer dads. Like I said, I’ll fake it, but I hope I don’t have to.”

Glancing around the beautiful sterile condo, I shrugged. “I wouldn’t say no to living in a place like this, but you didn’t say anything before. Now, you make this big move.”

“I wasn’t sure if I should wait until after Farah’s wedding. But we’re talking about another cat and a baby down the road. My place doesn’t have a family vibe to it. I like my neighbors, but they’d hate having a kid crying. I’d hate it too, but it’d be my kid, so what can I do?”

Walking into the kitchen, I ran my fingers over the sleek countertops.

“We’d get to choose stuff,” Judd said, following me. “Personalize it. As much as I try to think of my place as our place, I can’t. It was mine for a long time and I want a place that feels like ours. Besides, my place was meant for me to be alone. With you, I never want to be alone again.”

Glancing at him over my shoulder, I smiled a little. “So this is the model, but the place we would get is on the top floor?”

“It’s huge too. Two bedrooms. Well three, but one is small as shit. More like an office. It can house the cat shit or kid stuff eventually. I mean, I don’t need a damn office.”

“Me either.”

“It’s up on the top floor and has access to the rooftop deck. We’d only have the one neighbor across the hall and it’s got a nice view. You can see the woods and I bet at night, we could see all the city lights. It’d be pretty nice.”

Imagining what Judd would give up by leaving his home, I caressed his cheek. “It wouldn’t be as quiet here.”

Judd placed his hand over mine and stared into my eyes. “It’s too easy for me to be quiet. Too easy to dig into my head and hide there. I need to stay out here with you. Not always. Sometimes, we need to be alone with ourselves, but I want the rest of my time to be with you and it’d be nice here.”

Glancing around, I tried to get excited about this step for us. “Can you show me around since you’ve been here before?”

“How you feeling?”

“Like I shot my dad and left him to be finished off,” I whispered. “I feel like something really bad happened today and not just with him. It’s like my past is clinging to me, but what you have found here. Bringing me here and telling me what we could build together, that feels like tomorrow. I want to dream of tomorrow because my dad and all that bullshit isn’t part of tomorrow. It’s the past and I want to leave it there.”

Judd kissed me gently, comforting me with his touch. “I would die without you, angel. I would fucking lose the will to live. My old life wouldn’t be worth shit. Not now that I’ve seen what it could be. I know what happened today was bad and I bet your fucking father said some evil shit. I know you want to go to that dark place inside you, but you need to stay with me. I need you too much for you to leave me, okay?”

“Okay,” I said, holding his face in my hands. “No one is ever taking me from you and that includes me.”

Grinning, Judd wrapped an arm protectively around my shoulder as he showed me the living room, the useless little bedroom, and the master bedroom. When we stepped into the bigger secondary bedroom, I felt a surge of excitement.

“It’s beautiful,” I cooed, hurrying into a baby’s room complete with a child’s name on the wall in white letters. “When we have a baby,” I said, pausing when I saw the horror in Judd’s eyes, “in a few years, I want the room to look like this one. Can you imagine how amazing it would be to grow up in such a beautiful room?”

“I come from shitty stock,” he said, hands shoved in his pockets again.

“Me too, but we’re starting over right now with us. Our kids won’t be shit. They’ll be the best of us plus a whole lot more.”

Judd gave me a grin. “My angel is coming out of the darkness.”

Sharing his smile, I asked, “Can we see the condo you want? The one up high.”

As Judd’s smile grew, I knew he was proud of himself for finding this place. I was proud of him too. It was so easy to remain in the old life where it was safe for him, but he was embracing the unknown. With me, he’d find his way.

Up on the top floor in the empty space, I imagined the condo finished with Pearl and our future kitten living there. I also pictured one day staring out of the big windows with Judd and our child. The future was so damn beautiful from where I was standing.