As we stared at each other, I prayed he would back down. Was he was just saying the words to do the right thing or because Cooper was nearby? I wanted him to be lying, but he stared at me like I meant nothing. No, I guess he said I was hot. He would fuck me, but he wouldn’t talk to me afterwards.
I had never dreamed of anything before. My only hope was not to die violently, but I’d never really hoped for something special for myself besides being around Farah. For the last few days, I had dreamed of me and Judd though. He was mine and I would have something special of my own.
The dream of us was still fragile. It needed him to signal me in some way that I was special to him too. He needed to show me a moment of regret. A crack in his cold demeanor to give me the hope at how my dream wasn’t dead.
Judd gave me nothing though. He only stared like I was stupid and annoying and he wished he could leave and hook up with someone better than me in a million ways. I had never dreamed before and now I wished I had never dreamed ever. Better to never hope than to have the hope ruined.
Stepping back, I nodded. Tears fell as I stepped back again. Hiccupping while trying to act casual, I wanted to cry and whine and be scared of a future without Judd as mine. I wanted to be the loser he saw me as, but I only nodded and stepped back until I felt Farah behind me.
“Thanks,” I said, still a speck of hope that before Judd left he might show me he cared.
Judd didn’t react to my thanks or tears. He just nodded at Cooper then got into the SUV we shared so much time inside. Driving away, he didn’t look back. I watched him until he disappeared and he never looked back once.
Chapter Six
After Judd left and I followed Farah into her beautiful house, I felt lost. Cooper watched me like I was a curious thing he wished would leave. Next to him, Farah was bouncing off the walls with excitement. After showing me around her amazing house, she pulled me upstairs to the two rooms I was given. One held a bed, dresser, and a flat screen on the wall. The other was empty except for a couch and a TV on the wall.
“Do you not like it?” Farah asked, standing next to me like she might cry at any moment.
“Of course, I like the rooms. I just can’t believe they’re both for me.”
Farah shut the bedroom door and leaned against it. “You liked that guy, didn’t you?”
“Yes, but it doesn’t matter. You heard what he said.”
“Maybe he just said that because of Cooper? You saw how he was being out there, all protective like you’re his little sis.”
I forced a smile. “I like Cooper.”
“Do you?”
“Farah, he’s gorgeous and rich and he loves you so much. He’s great. I’m not grumpy because of him or the rooms. I just thought something special was happening with me and Judd. I was wrong though.”
Wrapping me into an embrace, Farah spoke softly. “Guys around here are scared of Coop. It’s possible Judd was intimidated.”
“I doubt it. He just changed his mind about me. It’s fine. I don’t know why I thought I could keep him interested when I’m the loser chick he found in a shit hole. I probably seemed interesting enough while on the road, but here he has options. Better women, not losers.”
“Don’t.”
Hugging her tighter, I felt at home in her embrace. “I feel like I lost something special. It might seem stupid, but I had it all planned out in my head and I was so sure. I was wrong though. I misread him and I’m usually good at reading people.”
Cradled in her arms, I missed Judd already and imagined him with another woman. Enjoying someone beautiful and confident, he would forget about me while I pined for him.
“I want to change,” I whispered.
“Here you can be anyone. I’m proof of that.”
Nodding, I sat on the bed and looked up at her. “Tonight, I need to feel sorry for myself and miss Judd. Tomorrow, I’ll enjoy my new start.”
Farah sat on the bed next to me. “What did you like about him?”
“I just felt comfortable with him, even if I shouldn’t. Like he was scary and rude, but I saw stuff in him. It sounds stupid.”
“And he kissed you?”
Smiling, I caressed my lips. “It wasn’t a kiss really. It was everything. The way he held me in his arms and how his lips and mine were just perfect together. I felt like he was mine, but I was wrong. I saw what I wanted to see and now I feel stupid.”
“Men like Judd are complicated, I think. Even Cooper, who has a good family and a pretty easy life, can be difficult to understand. A guy like Judd is probably even more complicated. Who knows? Maybe he’ll come back tomorrow and say he’s sorry and wants to be with you?”
“Maybe,” I said, not believing it. “Tomorrow, I’m going to learn about Ellsberg and see your life here. I heard you talk about it and want to see what it’s really like. I also want to find a job.”
“You don’t need a job, Tawny. Cooper can take care of us.”
“He shouldn’t have to though,” I said, pushing her long hair behind her ear. “He doesn’t even know me.”
Damaged and the Knight (Damaged #2)
Bijou Hunter's books
- Lost Highway
- Ramsey Security (Ramsey Security #1-3)
- Sunday Morning (Damaged #7.5)
- Broken Memphis (Little Memphis MC, #2)
- Damaged and the Saint (Damaged #7)
- Junkyard Dog
- Damaged and the Bulldog (Damaged #6)
- Damaged and the Cobra (Damaged #3)
- Damaged and the Dragon (Damaged #5)
- In the Wind
- Little Memphis (Little Memphis MC #1)
- Damaged and the Beast (Damaged #1)