Riding the elevator to my third floor apartment, I couldn’t wait any longer. My lips met Bailey’s and she gasped at the suddenness of our embrace. Hesitating only a moment, she wrapped her arms around my neck. Her tongue stroked mine and I imagined our bodies moving together too.
My mind swam with a hunger I’d never known before. The intoxicating need blinded me to everything else. My hands reached under Bailey’s ass and I lifted her up against me. Those new tits of hers pressed against my chest as her arms wrapped tighter around me. Bailey wanted me despite my crappy past. Promising myself that she accepted me, I unlocked the door as my lips remained on hers.
Danny Boy called out to me, ready to share a rumor about an amazing party. When he saw me with a girl connected at the waist, he made one of his dumb murmurs and backed off.
Never removing my lips from Bailey’s, I managed to lock my bedroom door. She moaned into my mouth as I leaned her back on the bed. Tasting her jaw and throat, I couldn’t get enough of her warm flesh. Bailey’s hands slide through my hair.
“Nick,” she murmured as I sucked at her throat.
When her hands reached under my shirt, I felt as if I’d been shocked. I instantly jumped back and away from her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, flushed and reaching for me.
Backing away from her, I climbed off the bed. The sight of her so beautiful before me intensified the sense of filth on my skin. Dragon deserved someone as brilliant as Bailey, but I wasn’t him. I was Nick from the trailer, locked in the hot closet while the burns on my back festered.
“It’s too fast,” I lied. “I don’t want what we have to be about sex.”
“It’s not,” she said, crawling towards me. “I want all of you. It’s never been about sex. I want you, Nick.”
The next words killed me, but I needed to shower and remove the filth I felt on my skin. Crazy or not, I felt dirty and couldn’t touch Bailey. I’d corrupt her, even if only in my mind.
“I’ll take you home now.”
Bailey’s face shifted into an expression I’d never seen before. Shocked and hurt, she struggled not to cry.
“It’s not you,” I whispered.
“Guys say that sometimes. They’re usually lying.”
Leaning against the small dresser, I studied her beautiful face. I wanted to return to the bed and know every part of her. I hungered to kiss the Tinker Bell tattoo on the small of her back. Nearly a year ago, I’d seen it when she bent down to pick up her water bottle. Since then, I’d imagined exploring the tattoo.
Yet I couldn’t.
“When I started fighting,” I said while she struggled against her tears, “sex was so easy to get. Girls who never noticed me suddenly threw themselves at me. Fucking was nothing after awhile. You are not nothing. You mean things to me that I can’t express. I don’t even know how I feel about you. It’s more than anything I understand. I’m all confused inside and I need us to go slower. It makes no sense, but it’s what I need.”
Bailey glanced around then back at me. “I think I understand.”
Bailey didn’t really understand, yet I was relieved she was willing to lie. The tears never spilled down her cheeks and she didn’t try to talk me out of taking her home. After I kissed her goodnight, she smiled like we’d had a great date.
Despite her reassurances, I knew I needed to get my issues under control or I’d lose her. This was an easy idea, but more difficult to achieve. Even after my skin burned from scrubbing so hard in the shower, I felt dirty. No way could I imagine corrupting Bailey with my filth.
Chapter Eleven ~ Bailey
Waking up the next day on the couch in my apartment, I felt like shit. I didn’t know if I was sick or simply depressed. Either way, I dragged my ass into the shower and tried to wash away the bad feelings.
Unable to find the energy to walk to the house for my mom’s country breakfast, I ate a sundae flavored Pop Tart. Dozing on the couch, I wished I had woken up in Nick’s bed.
Maddy showed up around eleven to drop off Scarlet and take me dress shopping. She used her mom skills to get me off the couch.
“Hey, pumpkin, I’ll get you a strawberry shake if you get up now,” she whispered, stroking my head. “You’d like that, wouldn’t you, baby? A big strawberry shake from Burger King. Does that sound good?”
“Can I have whipped cream too?” I asked with my eyes still closed.
“Sure, sweetie.”
Tempted by a promised reward, I shuffled after her, more tired than I should be after going to bed so early.
Raven and Winnie were at David’s Bridal by the time we arrived. The latter surprised me a little since she hadn’t been out of the house in days. Of course, Raven had a way of getting what she wanted. I know Vaughn worried about Winnie. He even blamed himself for the regression she’d suffered after his old biker friends grabbed her and Harlow.
Today, Winnie looked relaxed. Her long dark hair was away from her face and she smiled whenever Raven leaned over to say something.
“I’m planning to go redneck chic with the wedding,” Maddy announced, looking through the racks of dresses.
“What the hell is that?”