Damaged and the Beast (Damaged #1)

“I’ll have it by then. I’m sure I’ll get the job. If not that one, I’ll find another one.”


Amy stepped back, wanting to leave. “Get settled in.”

Once she disappeared into the kitchen, I shut the door and looked over my room. It wasn’t tiny, but it was tight. Yet, it was all mine.

I’d never had my own room before and it felt amazing standing there knowing I didn’t have to share. Grinning while I unpacked, I couldn’t believe I was finally on my way to becoming the new Farah. An educated woman, instead of simply the daughter of losers. I loved my parents, but they made bad choices. I intended to do the opposite for the next four years so I could get my dream job and build the life I had always wanted.

As the sun set and I ate a bag of chips because there wasn’t much food in the refrigerator, my excitement faded a little. As much promise as this move brought, I was scared. I’d never slept in a room on my own, let alone been away from Tawny for so long. Mostly, I had never been normal, no matter how much I pretended. Here I could be anyone, but I wasn’t sure if I was strong or smart enough to fool anyone.





Chapter Two


I started the next day by acing my interview and landing the Denny’s job. Next, I visited the local bank to make sure I could access my nest egg. Three years of tips were saved for school and I’d need them to pay for school supplies. Waitressing would pay for the every day stuff and I was thrilled how everything was falling into place so easily.

After a bus ride from the bank, I reached New Hampton College. It was prettier than in the online pictures. Very green with large old trees lining the pathways. It felt fancy even if it was a small college providing mostly for the local kids. I nearly hyperventilated a few times out of sheer excitement. In third grade, I vowed to go to college and become a teacher. Now, I was on my way.

I handed in all of my paperwork, spoke with a counselor, and checked over my schedule. Ready to start on Monday, I explored the campus. Even though I was alone in this place, I felt a sense of true accomplishment. The thrill was so great that I didn’t let myself get bothered by how most students were with family and friends. They all had support systems and I had Amy who barely acknowledged me that morning.

Locating my classes so I wouldn’t get lost on Monday, I sized up the other girls and how they were dressed. I wanted to fit in and was happy to see how casual everyone appeared. Most girls wore their hair down even on the hot late summer day, so I planned to do the same. My dream was to disappear into the crowd and never stand out.

The final stop was to pick up food at a grocery store near the apartment. My mom’s tastes were particular and she claimed to eat at work a lot. Buying as much food as I could carry back to the apartment, I settled in with a sandwich in front of the television.

When my mom arrived, she stared at me. “Did you get the job?”

Realizing she was nervous about paying for the apartment by herself, I nodded quickly.

Amy smiled with relief. “It was nice to upgrade to this place. Your grandma paid for the deposit and first month, but a two bedroom is pricey on my salary.”

“The Denny’s manager has me working evenings Monday through Thursday. I’ll probably pick up extra shifts too. I can get you the money for next month’s rent.”

My mom gave me the first genuine smile since I arrived. While I wanted to think she was proud of me or happy I was there, I suspected she just liked having a nicer apartment. After fiddling around in the kitchen and making approving noises about how I’d bought my own food, she disappeared into her bedroom. A half hour later, she reappeared, ready to go out.

Aunt Tess swore Mom was clean. She also claimed Mom didn’t date. While I didn’t think my mom was heading to a date in the outfit she was wearing, Amy was definitely going somewhere nicer than McDonalds.

I didn’t ask though. I was afraid to know too much and realize my mom and I would never be close. I really hoped with enough time we could slowly rebuild our relationship. Even doubting this hope would come true, I still held onto it.

Mom stared at me for a minute. When I finally met her gaze, she smiled awkwardly. “You’re not one to hold grudges, right?”

“No, Mom.”

This was the closest we would come to discussing the reason she hadn’t been my mother for five years. That was how it worked in my family. We didn’t discuss things. We didn’t hash them out. A pretty impressive fact for two families filled with drunks and addicts.