Damaged and the Beast (Damaged #1)

Cooper nodded. “I want you back, but I need you to promise me something.”


Frowning, I realized he wasn’t taking me back and his condition made me nervous.

“I’ll probably mess up again,” he said, rolling a napkin hard in his fist. “I love you and I’m perfect about most things, but I mess up with you. I get too loud or rude or angry and I scare you. I mess up and you always run. I want you to promise you won’t run anymore. If I make you mad or scare you, punish me. Ignore me, cold shoulder, withhold sex, call me names, whatever, but don’t run away. Don’t leave me and make my heart hurt like it does when I’ve lost you. Can you promise me that?”

“Promise I’ll never leave you, no matter what you do?”

“I won’t cheat. I won’t hit you. I won’t hit some guy because you’re talking to him. But, yeah, I talk out my ass sometimes and I don’t think about how it sounds to you. When I act like a jerk, you need to deal with me, but don’t run. I can’t chase you anymore because every time I get you back, I feel nervous like I’ll lose you again. I need to feel secure in us. I seem to have all of the power, but you give me a lot too. Without you, I feel like things make no sense. Like they don’t fit anymore and I can’t live like that. You have the power to rip me apart and I need you to promise you won’t hurt me even though I accidentally hurt you. I promise I’ll never do it on purpose, but I need you to promise too.”

Twisting around in the booth, I sat on my knees and took his face into my hands.

“The whole reason I wanted Nick was because I had this fantasy in my head about who I am and what kind of life would make me happy. A nice guy wouldn’t have known what to do with me when I cried during sex. He wouldn’t have pushed my buttons or helped me break down my walls. I was in love with a fantasy for so long, but what I feel for you is real. I wanted a normal guy, but I’m not normal. You make everything wrong with me feel right. Like my crazy is okay. Like my damage doesn’t ruin me. I wanted safe and you seemed dangerous, but with you, I feel safer than I have my whole life. You do that for me in a way no other guy could.”

After kissing him softly on the lips, I pulled back and smiled.

“And you’re a jerk sometimes. You act like a beast with no rules and I need to accept you the way you accept me. I do most of the time, but sometimes I run because I think away from you is safer. Today, I knew I could only feel safe when I was with you. Not because you kick ass or have money. I just knew you would understand what that money meant to me because you understand me. Besides Tawny, you’re the only person who’s ever loved me like I needed to be loved. I promise I won’t run anymore, Cooper.”

The smile he gave me set my heart thumping hard and I could barely breathe when he kissed me softly. Expecting more heat from his embrace, I frowned at his tenderness. Was he angry with me? When his gaze lingered over my face, I knew he was studying the swelling and bruising.

“You love me,” I said. “I make you nuts.”

“Hell yeah, you do,” he replied then added softer, “You’re my girl and we’re making one hell of a life together.”

Cuddling closer, I felt like the crap of the day was gone. I was starting over right this moment. I was no longer the Farah always wanting what she couldn’t have. Or the Farah who came to college pretending she was the person she hoped to be, instead of the person she truly was. I was just Farah Smith. The daughter of losers, I loved Cooper, missed my little sister, dreamed of being a teacher, and would fuck the rules when necessary. I was still a nerd in some ways, but I’d be that nerd on my own terms. Not to please anyone else. Not to be anyone else. I was me and fuck anyone who didn’t like it.

I knew Cooper liked it as he grinned down at me. “I texted Tucker,” he said after our food arrived. “Told him to find that bastard who hurt you and make sure he didn’t run. Also, told him to move out all your stuff. You’re not going back to that place.”

“Good. I never want to see the apartment or my mom again.”

Cooper grinned. “I love when you get feisty.”

“Will we drive home in the rain?” I asked, glancing outside.

“There’s a hotel next door. We could stay overnight after picking up a few things at the convenience store. You’ll need pain meds soon and we’ll hang out here until the storm passes. Then, we’ll drive home.”

“I’m living in your apartment?”

“Unless you want to live somewhere else?”

Thinking about it, I really didn’t want to be anywhere without Cooper.

“I belong with you, but what about Tawny?” I asked, finally pulling myself away from him so I could eat my burger.

“She’ll stay with us once she gets here.”

“At your parents’ house because there’s no real space at the apartment?”

“We’ll need to get a new place together. A fresh start somewhere with space for Tawny.”