“That can be arranged, but I want an orgasm from you first.” And he gets it. Or rather he gets two.
Then he pulls my hand and I’m back on my feet. He picks me up, carries me to the bed, and proceeds to make love to me. It’s slow, drawn out, and perforates my heart in a way I’m sure he doesn’t intend it to. But his words, “For however short or long it may be,” keep coming back to me. This moment has to last forever in my heart. I don’t want to feel this way—to have these doubts. I want my faith to be firm in his survival of what he faces. So I will choose to live in the moment from this point on, cherishing him day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.
The honeymoon destination is the island of St. Martin. When we land at the airport, our driver greets us.
“Where are we going?” I ask.
“You’ll see in just a little bit.”
When we pull up to a private villa, Drew says, “Surprise.” Then he leans over and kisses my cheek. “This is our home for the next ten days.”
“This is amazing.”
“Let’s check it out.”
Our driver unloads our bags, while a woman greets us and shows us around. The villa sits right on its own private beach, but has a pool and every amenity one could want.
The woman, whose name is Monique, tells us, “Every morning, breakfast will be delivered at seven. We will leave it outside so we won’t disturb you if you are still sleeping.” She beams and her face lights up, letting us know she has an inkling we’ll be hanging out in bed a lot. “Then I will return at twelve thirty to deliver your lunch. You will leave me your order, yes, in the morning on the porch when I deliver your breakfast?”
We nod. Apparently there is a huge menu we get to choose from.
Monique isn’t finished. “Then, at six in the evening, our chef, Pierre, will arrive to cook you dinner, if you are dining in. Again, you must give me your dinner selection at lunch, so chef can be prepared, yes?”
We nod again.
“You will find everything you need in the villa and if you don’t, you just call Monique, yes?”
We nod, again. Then she leaves and we grin at each other.
“Drew, this is amazing!”
“I hope you love it.”
“I do! How did you find this place?”
“Oh, this little thing called the internet. And my parents.”
When our first breakfast is delivered the next morning, it consists of homemade breads and croissants, because we’re staying on the French side of the island, and everything is mouthwatering. It’s a good thing I don’t have to worry about fitting into my wedding gown anymore because after all this tasty food, I’m sure it would be very snug.
Our views from the beach are stunning—we have a spectacular sunset to witness every night right off our terrace, so we usually sit out here with a glass of wine and take in the gorgeous scenery.
One night, as we sit together holding hands, something pops into my head. “Hey, I thought you said you didn’t want anyone seeing me naked. Remember?”
“Yeah. I said that to throw you off, so you wouldn’t be able to figure out where we were going.”
“Really, Drew? I never would’ve guessed this place in a gazillion years. You outdid yourself.”
“Nah, I outdid myself when I found you.”
“Promise me something.” There’s urgency in my voice and he hears it because he sits up straighter and leans forward in his chair.
Taking my hand, he says, “Anything, babe. What is it?”
“Promise me you will fight this thing with everything you have. Because honestly, I don’t want to think about this world without you in it.” I’m not sure if it’s the alcohol, or what, but big fat tears power their way out and I can do nothing to stop them. And this is the part I hate the worst. I’m the one who should be strong. I’m the one who should be comforting him—pushing him on. But no, he pulls me into his lap and he’s my strength. His hands rub a path up and down my back while he whispers things to me and I have no idea what they are.
When the tears ebb enough for me to speak, I ask, “Is there anything you’re holding back? Anything you’re keeping from me?”
“No, Cate. I’m telling you everything and will always do that.”
“Okay. I’m sorry I fell apart.”
“Why are you sorry? You’re scared. I’m scared. I don’t know how long I’m going to live.”
“Don’t say that.”
“It’s true, Cate. But none of us do. Hell, we could die in a plane crash on the way home. Realistically, we won’t, but the fact is we all face death. It’s the circle of life. I see it at work all the time so I think I’m a bit more practical about it than you.”
“I can’t let myself think that way. You’re young and strong enough to beat it.”
“That’s what I’m hoping for. But Cate, if I don’t …”