I pull away from Axel and just look into his eyes. I notice the adoration that still shines bright. I hope I’m giving him just a small sign of what I’m feeling when I smile up at him.
Maddox was right last night. I can’t hold it in anymore, and when I have Axel back in my arms, the uncertainty isn’t as terrifying. With everything else that is a mess right now in my life, I feel like this is one thing I might be ready to deal with and move on from. Hopefully I’m making the right decision here, but I can’t hold on to the past anymore. I can’t hold that pain in, and more importantly, I am ready to let him in. Let him in in the hopes that we can find a way back to each other that isn’t just about this sexual buzz roaring around us.
“Go get cleaned up, yeah? And please put some fucking clothes on. As fine as that body is, I don’t want anyone else enjoying the view.”
“Sure, Axel. I’ll go get cleaned up, but I don’t understand what your issues are with my clothes! Most bathing suits show a whole hell of a lot more than this. Maddox doesn’t care, and he doesn’t see me like that.” I try to reason with him, and it might have worked if Maddox would have kept his mouth shut.
“Just because I’m not pushing you up against walls and humping you like a fucking animal doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the view. You just haven’t caught me looking.” He laughs—LAUGHS—between mouthfuls of his breakfast.
“Ugh, pig!” I yell and run off to the room I have been staying in.
“Izzy, get your shit packed up. I’ll be back around lunch to pick you up. This fucking sleepover party bullshit is over now. You’re coming home with me, got it?” he yells down the hall.
Ready or not . . . time to find some of that locked-down courage and face the facts. Ax is back and we are about to have a ‘make it or break it,’ ‘come to Jesus’ talk. For the first time in years, the thought of opening up those old wounds doesn’t terrify me.
CHAPTER 14
Axel
Fuck me, I think as I walk out of Locke’s apartment and climb into my truck. I sit there for a second, trying unsuccessfully to calm down, shifting slightly to try and ease some of the discomfort in my pants. My cock is so hard that I might have permanent indentions from my zipper.
I rub my hands over my face, trying to bring my heart back to a normal speed. Fuck. I can still smell her, her arousal still clinging to my fingers, making my cock even harder. Swear to Christ, I have never been this ready to explode, not even when I was a horny teenager getting a fucking hard-on for every single female I looked at.
Damn.
Even better than I remember. Iz came alive under my fingers. Just one kiss and everything else ceased to exist. She consumed me. Her breathy moans, her soft skin, her delicious fucking kisses, and that warm fucking pussy just begging for me to take her.
It wasn’t my intention when I got here to go there. Not yet, at least. I have been slowly going insane since Saturday when the ex showed up. Knowing she was hurt was one thing, but knowing I hadn’t been there to protect her was enough to keep me on edge all week. I haven’t gotten shit done around the office, but if Greg noticed, he didn’t say anything. He was just as worried about Izzy but his had the added fear that he still didn’t have her whole friendship back. I know they talked before the game Saturday, but they haven’t since, with the exception of a few calls to check in. He might be having a hard time not being able to protect her too, I don’t fucking know. I haven’t asked, but I do know one thing. Even if they are best fucking friends, exchanging friendship necklaces and shit, he won’t be the one in charge of protecting MY Izzy anymore.
I have been struggling with the desire still very much there between us for a few months now. Even when I’m not in her presence, I know she is there, just within reach, and I have finally come to the realization that I’m not ready to let her go. Not again. And if I’m being totally honest with myself, I haven’t ever gotten over the fact that she was and always will be ‘it’ for me.
I don’t have any delusions. We have a lot of shit to work out, but I am ready to fight and not just fight for us but fight anyone, including that piece-of-shit ex-husband.
Shaking my head, I start my truck and head off to run some errands. I need food if I expect Izzy to stay with me, and I need some condoms. There is no way, especially after that shit back at Locke’s house, that we will be able to spend time alone and not end up naked. I am ready to make my girl mine again.