This is going to be easy enough, even if it is painful for me. All it will take is one mention of her finally getting that makeover she’s been after and I’ve been dreading for her to forget everything else and focus only on shopping. It might be a dirty trick, but it is the only one I have at the moment.
I will have to spend a day with Dee, allowing her to take over and drag me all over the state shopping, but it will work. Not only will I successfully not be thinking about anything besides how much money she is costing me, but I will be away from the house and Axel won’t be able to find me. I hate shopping, but if this works, the payoff might be worth it.
Me and Dee against the world. She might not know it, but she is about to become my hero.
*
My ears have finally stopped ringing from Dee’s insane screeching when I announced I am finally ready to shed my ‘ratty-ass jeans’ and tees and let her work her magic. Just as I thought, she immediately went into crazy mode and forgot about the world around her. Sometimes I love how easy it is to basically bribe her.
It’s Saturday morning and we have been at the mall for a few hours when my phone rings. Looking at the display, I can’t help but smile when I see “Greg Calling” across the screen. I have successfully kept him away all week, and now that I am away from the house and out of Axel’s reach, I am finally going to pick this call up.
“Hey, you,” I smile into the phone.
“Baby girl, you speaking to me today?” His deep baritone rumbles through the line.
“Depends on you. What do you want to speak about?”
“All right, I guess that’s a no. What are you doing? I drove by the house but no one was there.”
“Shopping!” My voice must be dripping with sarcasm. “Dee and I are over at Lenox Mall. I’ve decided it’s time for a new wardrobe. Going all out. You should meet us over here . . . carry all the bags or something productive like that. It will be just so much fun.” Yup, sarcasm is hanging thick in the air. Dee is completely oblivious to my conversation. Either that or she is just so in her element that she decides to ignore it.
“Carry your bags, huh? You must be out of your damn mind if you think I will be joining you on that estrogen field trip. I like my balls right where they are.” He laughs back at me, finally losing that hard tone he seems to have adopted with me. I don’t like being at the receiving end of his anger.
“Pussy,” I joke. “Big old pussy is afraid to come and walk around the mall with your best friends. I think you might have already lost those balls you’re so fond of, G.” I throw my head back and let out a loud laugh, earning a few nasty looks from the rich bitches out shopping for shit they do not need. Kind of like me, minus the rich part.
I can hear him trying not to laugh. This right here is the Greg I love so much, this banter between us.
“Come on. All joking aside, I think we will be stopping for lunch soon. Or at least I hope my master will let me eat.”
I look over at Dee, who has been vibrating with excitement since we started this grand makeover day, to confirm a plan for food at least somewhere in the near future. She isn’t looking anywhere near me. Instead, she is focusing on another store. I might as well just hand her my credit card and tell her to meet me back home. I haven’t had a single input on a single purchase since we started, and if the seven bags hanging from my arms aren’t enough, I might just run. What the hell was I thinking?
Oh, that’s right . . . a distraction, being away from the house and away from Axel, who has already called three times since the day began.
Clearing my throat, I speak into the phone again. Even if Dee doesn’t agree, we will be eating soon. “So, what have ya? Want to meet us over here or what?”
“Sure, Iz. If that is how we are going to play today, I’ll meet you there. I’ll call you when I get there and find out how to track you down.”
“Perfect. Just give me a ring and you can save me!” I look over at Dee to make sure she at least has some understanding of this new plan. She looks disappointed that we have to stop, but Christ, woman, I can only shop for so long without food.
“See ya then, baby girl.” He disconnects and I pocket my phone, turning with a bright smile to Dee. She has the most ridiculous pout on her face.
“Stop that right now, Dee. I have been a good little girl and followed you around like a little bitch while you racked up thousands of dollars of shit on my card. I don’t think feeding me is too much to ask, huh?” I try for stern but end up laughing in her face when she has the nerve to wobble her chin like she might cry.
“Okay, okay . . . but if we have to stop soon, we’re going to Neiman’s first. Shoes, Iz. I can hear them calling our names from here.”
Freaking weirdo.