By the time he pulls back, my own tears have wet the fabric of his shirt. His eyes are dry but bloodshot, and the sadness in his gaze causes my own tears to come rushing back.
“I’m sorry.” I repeat my earlier words. He shakes his head and offers me a small smile.
“The way I see it, you have nothing to be sorry for, Dee. As much as it tears me apart to know you were fighting all of that and didn’t tell anyone, I look at you now on the other side of all that pain, and I couldn’t be more proud. Beck’s your rock and, Babe, even if I hadn’t been so foolishly blind I’m pretty sure that he’s the only one that would have ever been able to help pull you back up. God, it’s eating me up to know what you’ve been living with.” He shakes his head, clearly still trying to calm the emotions that I’ve brought forth.
“I don’t blame you. I don’t want you to think that, even once, during all of this time, that I blamed you for not seeing. I didn’t want you to see. I hid and put the happiness on to the extreme. You can’t beat yourself up when I did my best to make sure that you couldn’t see. That’s on me, Greg.” I can tell he doesn’t agree with me, but he doesn’t argue.
“Don’t keep things from me anymore, Dee. Family doesn’t do that shit.” His eyes lose a little of the sadness, and his tone gets sharp.
I silently let some of the worry seep from my body when I realize the worst is over.
“I won’t, I promise.”
“Are you doing okay . . . with everything that’s happening right now? You aren’t struggling or anything?”
I know what he’s asking. He wants to know if I’m sinking and need a life vest.
“Yeah, Greg. I’m really doing okay. I’m worried, but I think that’s pretty normal. I’ve called Dr. Maxwell a few times since I’ve been back from the hospital. She’s helped me stay on track, and to be honest, I don’t feel the hooks of my old fears at all. I’m stronger now. Between all of my coping techniques and everything that is John Beckett, I’m pretty close to normal. I still have my moments, but most of the time, those are a few nightmares that keep me up, and even those are coming less frequently.”
“And Beck? You two are good?”
“We’re amazing.” The conviction behind those words has Greg’s smile coming out, and for the first time since he got here, the smile I return isn’t forced, and it washes all of the pain from my body like a waterfall. The thought of Beck and all the love we share is enough to heal even the deepest of my wounds.
“Thank you for telling me. I know that wasn’t easy, and I’m not going to lie to you, it hurts like hell, but I’m glad that you let me in.” He takes a deep breath and looks me hard in the eyes. “If you ever keep shit like that from me again, I’m going to let Melissa kick your ass for me.”
We both laugh, and just like that the mood is lifted, and even though the pain lingers in his eyes, I know that everything is going to be okay.
CHAPTER 25
Beck
I’m about two seconds from climbing the walls of my office. I have been here for almost two hours and haven’t heard a word from Greg or Dee. Axel and Coop have been giving me my space and I’m thankful for it. Axel came in when I first got here, and I almost took his head off with one of the books I threw at him.
Coop doesn’t even bother. He takes one look at me and keeps walking past my office until I hear the door close to his own. Emmy is the only one I’ve been able to talk to and even that’s been with a bark to my tone.
Maddox takes one for the team and spends the next two hours next door with Chelcie. Sway doesn’t pick on Maddox as much as he does the rest of us, and even when he does, Maddox doesn’t seem too bothered by it.
The knock on my door pulls me from my own head, and I look up to meet Coop’s hesitant eyes.
“I’ve got to run out for about an hour. We’ve got another stalk and snap case. Another rich homemaker who is convinced her husband is sleeping with the secretary.” He laughs and shakes his head. “This is exactly why my ass won’t ever let a chick get her hooks in me. I would end up being a case on your desk to come stalk and snap.”
“You know, the best thing that’s ever happened to me is having Dee return my love, so I won’t ever see where you’re coming from there.” Leave it to Coop to lighten the lead ball in my gut. Where the hell are Dee and Greg?
“I’ll take your word for that one, Brother. You know I respect you assholes and your relationships, but that shit just isn’t for me. I’m not the kind of guy worth some chick’s trouble. Too many mommy issues.”
“We all have our own issues to bear, Coop. You’ll get your happiness one day.” I frown when I see the serious look he’s putting out.
“Don’t hold your breath there. Anyway, you need anything while I’m out?”
I shake my head, but before I can answer, my phone rings. I wave him off and swipe the phone to answer, letting the tension fall from my shoulders when I hear Dee’s voice come over the line.
“Hey! Guess what?”