*
The next morning, we don’t waste any time getting ready and heading off for the mall. We arrive just as most of the stores are opening. I’ll give her credit. She hates being here, but she’s acting like this idea of hers is the best one yet. She doesn’t even fight me anymore when I pick stuff up and thrust it into her arms. The last store we left, she just handed me her credit card and the clothes she had just tried on, before even leaving the dressing room.
At least she’s trying to smile.
We walk out of yet another store, and I look over at her. She’s still clearly miserable but trying to hide it. I, on the other hand, couldn’t be in a better place. I’m in my element. I could spend hours walking around the mall. It’s my vice. Some people have booze, drugs, hell even sex. But me? I have shopping.
When I was younger, and my parents just wanted me out of their hair, they would send me with Nanny Amy and their credit card. I loved Nanny Amy. When we would disappear for hours, just walking around the mall, going in all the toy stores that my mother never let me look at, eating all the junk in the food court, or just being normal, I could pretend that someone loved me. I could forget the crap that I had to deal with, and the fake mask that I felt forced to wear.
I could be me. The real Dee. The girl who wanted desperately to just have someone who loved her for her, and didn’t hate just looking at herself in the mirror.
When I was out shopping, buying whatever I wanted to fill that void, I could pretend. I could forget. So, I get what Izzy is doing here. She’s using me and shopping to forget the giant mess of ‘what the fuck’ her life has become.
It’s nearing lunchtime when she takes a call from Greg. Her tone is light and teasing, and she finally agrees to meet up with him. I know it’s not what he wants, but baby steps are better than nothing. She isn’t closing him off anymore.
We are on our way to meet up with Greg, and find him waiting outside the newest store that we had just left, when I see him. Beck. Mr. Panty Soaking himself, and just like the night we met, the pull is just as strong as it was. Only this time I don’t want to stop it. I want to enjoy him and all the promises I see hiding behind his eyes.
He looks at me as if he only has eyes for me. With a devilish smirk on his face, and his brown eyes smiling, he’s saying everything that he can’t say out loud with just a look.
This gorgeous man wants me, and for once, I’m going to let my hair down, and just enjoy the waves that life wants me to ride. He’s a guy, after all, so he shouldn’t have any issues with the whole ‘this is just sex’ thing. I need him to take my mind off of everything else going on around me.
We leave the mall right after meeting up with the guys. Greg is the type of man that gets hives just from being near shopping, so it doesn’t surprise me that he wants to get out of here. We head over to Heavy’s, our favorite restaurant, and settle into a long afternoon of eating, drinking, and much needed laughter. The tension between Beck and me is tangible. Half of the conversation just floats around me as I look into his eyes. The flirting, sex talk, and uncontrollable lust are just too much to handle.
When Izzy drops the bomb that she wants to go get a tattoo, I do the only thing I can. I put my friend hat back on and go along for a ride. I can tell that Beck is confused and worried, but he still tags along.
We have only been at the tattoo place for about thirty minutes before she is called back. Beck comes over to my side and wraps his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in close and offering his support. It’s obvious that Greg is about to come unglued. I can’t stop worrying about Izzy, and the fact that it was a huge mistake to let her come here.
I swiftly stand up and get ready to march back and drag her out of here, but before I can get a step away from the couch, the front door opens, and Axel comes storming through the entrance. One look at his face has me dropping back down next to Beck.
“It’s okay. He won’t hurt her,” he whispers in my ear.
“He already has,” I reply cryptically. He looks at me in question, but I just shake my head and watch the shit storm unfold.
After the most intense ten minutes, we all end up on the curb. When Axel all but forces a stoic faced Izzy into his massive truck, I breathe a deep sigh of relief, and one of massive anxiety, all at once.