I just nod my head, my heart pounding so violently in my chest, and my mind screaming at me over and over to run. There are times in my life when I want so desperately to let my steel-enforced walls down. To let a man in. To believe that they won’t hurt me. But then, I remember all the pain in the past, and all the pain they have ever caused me, and those walls just get thicker and thicker.
“You think maybe you can give me the words?” His smile grows when I nod again.
“Uh . . . yeah. I’ll let you know.” Because really, what else can I say here? If anything else, maybe in a few weeks when things calm down with Iz he could be a welcomed distraction. A way to relax and remind myself to enjoy life a little more.
The spell is broken when Axel takes a few steps back, and then drops to the floor in front of the closed door. As if even knowing she is in there is keeping him rooted to this very hallway. The handsome, blond man that arrived with them just shakes his head a few times and leans back as if settling in for a long stay. Beck mimics his move and sighs deeply. Of course, these men know something bigger than us is happening here. They just silently wait to help whichever side needs it.
I can’t keep my eyes off of Axel. He sits there on the floor with his head resting against the wall, eyes closed, but body so tightly wound that there isn’t a possibility he is relaxed. I want to hate him. I want to think he is this heartless bastard that just up and left Izzy and ignored her letters. I want to blame him for the series of events that followed. The ones that have had her thinking he has been dead and gone for the last decade plus. I want nothing more than to walk up to this man and kick him in the nuts for all that it’s worth.
But . . . but something is holding me back from automatically condemning him to hell. Maybe it’s the presence of these strong men silently offering what I think is support, or the fact that when he realized who Izzy was, the first thing that flashed in those green eyes of his was shock, and if I’m not mistaken . . . love.
Whatever is happening here is larger than any of us realize. So with the knowledge that I’m just going to have to watch it play out like the rest of them, I go to settle in for a long wait. Just when I’m about to get comfortable against the wall, the door clicks open, and out walks the other man who arrived with the group. I think Greg called him Locke. Every single fiber of this man is laced with a strong warning. He appears unapproachable or at least that’s just the vibe he wants to project. His eyes, so dark they appear black, take in the crowded hallway but zoom in on Axel when he stands from his position on the floor.
Bottom line, that man scares the ever living shit out of me.
“What the fuck are you glaring at, Locke?” Axel growls, stepping a little closer to the big, scary dude.
“I’m looking right at you, Motherfucker. It shouldn’t take a big leap of ‘clue the fuck in’ for you to realize I’m looking right at your dumb, fucking ass.” His deep baritone snarls out the words. Eyes hard as coal, his large frame is puffed up and ready for a fight. I back up slightly, just from his strong presence. Even though his words are spoken in a low tone, the sheer power behind them has every instinct in my body telling me to run from the predator.
Obviously, Axel doesn’t seem to have the same issues concerning this man as I do. He walks, calm as you please, right into Locke’s space. “What the hell? Is there a reason you seem to think I pissed all over your shit?”
I watch them having their heated debate. Each time Axel opens his mouth to throw some excuse back to Locke, or Locke explains what is going on with Izzy in the other room, I feel my heart pick up speed. Each word that comes out of their mouths makes my world slowly rock and rumble, knowing that the things Izzy has believed for so long are so far from reality.
It’s like when you see a car accident and you just can’t look away. Or when you’re watching a horror movie that you know will keep you up at night for years to come. You know you shouldn’t watch, you know there is something coming, but for the life of you, you can’t look away. This is one of those moments for me. I know in my gut that I need to stop listening, but I can’t look away. I can’t plug my ears as a toddler would, and then drop to the floor, throwing a fit that demands these men to shut the hell up.
So I stand here and take it all in. Then, Axel does the only thing that can break me out of my shocked induced stupor. He mentions the one man that not only ruined Izzy’s life, but mine as well. The one man that still has the power to ruin hers, and the one man that I would do anything to see wiped off this planet.
Brandon Hunter, Izzy’s ex-husband.