I spend another ten minutes searching for my cell phone only to come up lacking. Jesus, I am losing my mind. I start to panic slightly when I realize if I don’t have my phone, there is no way she would have been able to get a hold of me if something bad had happened. What if she was in an accident? Fuck! She could be in the hospital right now and I’ve been sleeping. I finally locate the little bastard under my seat in the truck, and almost fall to the ground when I see the amount of missed calls. One from Axel, one from Emmy, two from Dee, but it is the sixteen from Izzy that stops my heart.
When I finish going through all the messages, I still don’t completely understand what is happening. Emmy seems confused and clueless. She lets me know that she didn’t go out with the girls, but she did talk to Izzy and I need to call her as soon as possible. Dee’s first message is just as confusing as Emmy’s. Her second message, however, turns my blood to ice.
“G, I don’t know what happened. Meli went to the bathroom and came out looking like she had just seen a ghost. She’s gone but I do know Mandy did something. That little bitch isn’t speaking though. You need to find her, G. Something’s wrong but I don’t know what. Call Izzy. She left with her a little while ago. Love you.”
Mandy. What a motherfucking cunt. Who knows what she could have told Melissa but whatever it is, it couldn’t be good. Why did I think she is done and over her obsession with my dick? The last chat I had with her had ended well enough. She apologized over and over and promised she wished me nothing but the best. I guess my first clue should have been when she mentioned getting back on her medication. Fuck.
When I listen to Izzy’s messages that start out worried and end defeated, I know my bad luck has just turned to worse. She gives me nothing more than Dee did; apparently, my girl is locked up tight and not letting anyone in.
I am pacing the living room when Axel’s message finally comes through the line.
“She’s here and you need to stay away brother. I know this is going to be impossible for you, but trust me when I say she is safe, and I will make sure she stays that way. She knows, and when I say that, you know what I mean. Iz didn’t say much, just that Mandy told her about Simon. Would love to know how that bitch knew enough to put your woman in this state. Let her cool and be here in the morning. And, G . . . if you tell Izzy I let you know she’s here, I’ll personally cut your dick off.”
Thank Christ she is safe but that does nothing to ease the tension in my heart. I need to protect my girl; I need to be there. With not one care to the fact that it is way too late to be calling, I call Axel right back.
“What, motherfucker?” He grumbles in the phone.
“Is she okay?”
“What the fuck do you think? I have my woman in there with your woman because she hasn’t stopped crying since she got here. I am not a chick and I like my dick so I didn’t listen in for long but there was a lot of her saying shit I know she will regret and even more of her saying shit I know she won’t.”
“Not following, Axel. What are you saying?”
“What I’m saying is if you come over here right now, I don’t think you will like what you get from her. She’s hurt and I told you this would blow up, so I have to say I agree with her pain. But, she is also in shock. She’s saying shit that I don’t think she would be saying if she had a clear head. You love her, then you need to sit your fucking ass at home and let Izzy be the strength she needs.”
“I don’t know how to do that, Ax.” I sigh and pull my hand through my hair. Every instinct I have is telling me to run, run to her, and pick up the pieces.
“I know you don’t, but it’s time to learn. You can’t always be the one that makes it better. You can’t protect everyone from everything. That’s what got you in this mess.” There is some shuffling in the background and I can hear him walking through his house, shutting some doors. “Let me look in on them. Will that help you a little?”
“Please,” I whisper.
“Hold on.” He sets the phone down, and after what seems like an eternity, I hear him pick back up and just sigh. “She’s asleep. Curled up like a fucking baby in Izzy’s arms. She’s okay, G, but you have to give her this time. I’ll call in the morning, yeah?”
“Ax, I don’t know if I can do this. I feel like part of my soul is being ripped from my body.”
“I know, trust me I do. I lived that for twelve years my man. The only thing I can give you is hope. Izzy and I went through our share of bumps, but in the end, if it’s meant to be, nothing can keep your woman from your arms.”
He disconnects and I sit there for hours, until the early rays of sunlight start filling the room. I sit there and think about what I’m going to do if I can’t fix this, because right now I know I won’t be able to recover if she doesn’t want to be in my life anymore. It will be like losing Grace all over again.
*
I have been staring at one of the romance books Melissa left on the coffee table the night before, just zoning when the phone finally rings. Seeing that it is Axel, I have the phone connected and to my ear in seconds.
“Yeah?” Even to my own ears, I can hear the raw desperation that hangs from that single word.