I watch as the girl with the perfect arse lifts her long blonde hair up off the back of her neck and lets the air get to it. She has a tattoo hidden there and for some reason I have an almost uncontrollable urge to go take a look at what it says.
My eyes are drawn to the tall blonde standing next to her at the bar. Perfect arse is wearing a pair of green, killer heels and it strikes me that they are almost the exact same colour as my favourite custom made guitar. They have a heel about four inches high on them, but she’s still about five inches shorter than the girl standing next to her. The thought of a straight forward fuck no longer feels like such a good idea, not as good as a threesome with these two, anyway. Especially if perfect arse keeps those heels on.
The tall blonde flicks her hair over her shoulder and turns and faces the room just as a waiter offers me something to eat from a tray loaded with little bits of toast with brown or pink stuff on them. I shake my head and politely decline his offer. My eyes travelling instantly back to the girls at the bar. The tall blonde is looking right at me, wearing an almost horrified expression.
Everything starts to slow down – sounds, my heart, my existence. She says a couple of words to her friend who turns and follows her gaze, until her eyes land on me. My heart crashes into my sternum, shatters into a gazillion tiny pieces, and falls and falls and falls… eventually landing somewhere deep down in the pit of my stomach.
I watch as her hand actually rushes to her chest like she’s been shot or has pain there. It’s almost a theatrical move. Her other hand reaches out for the bar and I instinctively step forward when it looks like her legs might give way. I watch her mouth open and close and I feel myself sway with the rise and fall of her chest.
Without taking her eyes from mine, she steps toward me. I want to move toward her, go to her but my legs refuse to cooperate.
And then suddenly, she’s there, right there in front of me.
My hand suddenly has a mind of its own and starts to reach for her, I ball it into a fist and force it back down to my side.
She’s just how I remember her.
She’s beautiful.
So, fucking beautiful.
“Meebs,” I thought I was saying it in my head, but somehow my lips move and the sound comes out of my mouth.
Her face crumbles and she lets out a sob. Her hand goes to her mouth and covers it. She shakes her head no while tears run down her cheeks. I don’t know if the room is actually silent or if I just can’t focus on anything but her.
“Don’t. Don’t call me that. I’m not your Amoeba,” she says.
“You’ll always be my Amoeba. Nina Amoeba.”
“I stopped being your anything when you left me in that hospital all on my own,” she almost hisses the words through her gritted teeth.
“What? What hospital room?”
Her shoulders slump and I watch as she completely deflates in front of me. Her eyes meet mine and she looks so sad, so fucking sad and broken.
“You didn’t come, after all the things you said, all the promises you made and when I needed you the most, you didn’t come for me. You left me, Conner. You left me.”
Sophie’s there, and without warning flies at me. “What did you say? What the fuck did you say to her?”
I look between the two of them. My mouth opens, then closes, but I can’t seem to make a sound. I start to feel the first bubbling of a panic attack in my toes and my belly. I close my eyes and concentrate on nothing, but getting one breath in and then slowly let one breath out.
I can hear Lawson asking what’s going on. Then Tyler’s voice is in my ear.
Where the fuck did he come from?
“Breathe Conner, just breathe through it. Do it the way Dad showed you.”
I open my eyes and look into my brother’s worried face.
“You got this?”
I nod. Feeling calmer.
“I got this. You called me, Conner. You never call me, Conner.”
He smiles. My dad’s Conner or Con, and somehow I’d ended up being known as Reed to save confusion. My brothers called me Reed, so when I went to school everyone else called me Reed. It just stuck.
Everything slowly comes back into focus, sound and smell. The room stops spinning and starts coming back into view.
“Fuck,” is the only other thing I can think of saying.
Tyler passes me a bottle of water and I unscrew the cap and take a few big gulps.
“Where’d she go?” I look from side to side around the room, but she’s nowhere to be seen.
“Where did she go, Ty? Where the fuck did she go?”
Fuck, I need to get a grip.
“She’s here. Someone took her to the office so she could sit down. Sophie and Jenna went with her.” He looks over my face with his eyebrows drawn together.
“What happened? Why’s she here?” he asks.
“I don’t know… She’s with Sophie. Josh probably got them tickets,” I tell him.
“Well, a heads up from Josh would’ve been handy.”
“Tell me about it,” I reply.