I rolled my eyes at Sophie. “Will you please stop asking me that? There’s nothing wrong. I just don’t have the money to spend on new clothes right now. We’ve just had Christmas and I’m skint.” I wasn’t. I’d hardly spent a penny on Christmas and had been saving religiously since September, but I couldn’t tell Soph that. She was my best friend and I loved her like a sister. She knew each and every one of my hopes, dreams and desires, but she had no idea about my plans for that night. As far as she knew, we were meeting up and going to a friend’s party to see in the new millennium. I felt bad for what I was going to do to my best friend, but I couldn’t let her know. I didn’t want to put her in a position where she’d have to lie on my behalf. So the less she knew, the better.
Despite the miserable expression on my face, I was buzzing inside. I couldn’t wait to see Conner later, and I couldn’t wait for us to set off on our new life together. If there was another way, then we wouldn’t be doing this, but my parents just wouldn’t see reason. They never did. They’d had my life all mapped out for me. Do well at school, go to college, then on to uni’. Then throw away all of that studying by marrying someone respectable, producing a couple of kids and staying at home and becoming a dutiful housewife, by being at my husband’s beck and call. Supporting him at all times, while he made his way up the corporate ladder at whatever mind numbingly boring profession he might possibly have.
The problem was, most of those options weren’t included in my life plan. Not that I really had a plan. Not for my life, not for anything. I wasn’t much of a planner, much more of a free spirit and it drove my mother insane. She hated that I didn’t feel the need to wear the latest designer label and that I didn’t need the latest phone, handbag or accessory on the day they came out – or ever for that matter. I was a jeans, hoodie and Converse kind of girl back then. The biggest plan I’d ever made in my life was for that night. That plan would change everything. It would get me away from my stuck-up parents, arsehole of a brother and the stockbroker belt town that I’d spent the last sixteen years growing up in.
“Neen… Nina. Oh look, there’s Conner.”
“What, where?” I looked up at Sophie, then around the chaos of the Primark store that we were in.
“Well, that got your attention. What the fuck is wrong with you? I think you need coffee or an energy drink. Were you and Con up till late getting down and dirty again? How many times is that now?” Soph elbowed me in the ribs while I blushed.
We did get down and dirty that night. Well, as down and dirty as you can get in the back of a car in December, but we did all right. I shudder as I thought about his hands on me. He was my first, my one and only and I loved him like nothing on earth. Not only was Conner smoking hot to look at, but he was just so beautiful inside. He’d had a shit life, but despite the hand that was dealt him and the awful thing that he’d witnessed as a small child, he was a good person and we loved each other with such an intensity that I wanted to cry every time I looked at him.
Soph finally bought a half dozen pieces from the Primark sale and we headed back to the car. I didn’t want a coffee or an energy drink. I wanted to get home and pack my bag. It was just after twelve, I was meeting Conner in our local Sainsbury’s car park at six.
It was as we approached Sophie’s car that I heard him call my name. Sophie and I turned at the same time to see my brother and his best friend Marcus walk toward us.
In the ten or so steps it took for my brother to reach us, the pain ripped through me. I was confused at first, I didn’t know what had hit me. My breath and my step faltered as I walked toward my brother. The sharp pain eased, leaving me with a dull ache, down low in my belly.
“Where are you girls off to?” my brother asked.
I opened my mouth to answer and the pain hit again, this time much worse than before. My legs went from under me, spots appeared in front of my eyes and everything went black.
Conner
I stand on the edge of the stage, eyes closed, arms raised, caught in the draft of the giant fans sitting in the wings, my hair lifts off my neck and it feels good, so fucking good. I count the beats to the final drum roll of our last song for the night... for the tour in fact and wait for the roar of the crowd as I pull my earpiece out. I open my eyes and look out across the sea of faces, arms waving in the air as Jet throws his arm over my shoulder and kisses my cheek. He’s wearing a white feather boa around his neck, black leather jeans and he’s shirtless and barefoot. Gunner Vance and Dom Trip, our drummer and bass guitarist join us front and centre of the stage and we all take a bow.
We’re done. Eighteen months on the road is finally over. I’m going straight back to England tomorrow and I won’t have to look at the ugly fucking faces of my other three bandmates until sometime next year. Well, I’ll probably see Gunner at some stage as we live not far from each other, but the other two are crazy Americans and unless we have any public appearances scheduled, then naaa, I’m done travelling for a while. I’m heading home, home to England, my house, my dogs, brothers, nieces and nephews and I can’t fucking wait.
A pair of knickers land at my feet as a girl screams, “Reed, take me home, take me home and fuck me.” I bend my knees and shield my eyes from the house lights that are starting to come on so I can get a better look at her.
Jet leans down and says in my ear, “Get her up here, just in case the rest don’t show, man.”