That Christmas night she had on a pair of skin-tight black leather trousers and a red shiny top, which literally looked like a silk hanky hanging from her neck. It was held together at the back by a few chains crisscrossing her bare skin. She had tits now. They weren’t big, but they were noticeable, and my dick had most definitely noticed them. She was still tiny. Five feet one or two at the very most, but she most certainly wasn’t skinny anymore. Her waist was still small but fuck me, she had hips and the sexiest, roundest, little arse I’d ever seen.
“Reed!” Josh smacked me in the chest with the back of his hand.
“What?” I snapped back at him.
“Jailbait, mate. She’s off limits till she’s sixteen.”
I let out a long sigh. “Yeah, yeah, I know. But I’m only human, you can’t blame me for looking.”
“Look all you like,” he replied, “just keep your hands to your fucking self.”
I didn’t leave her side for the rest of the night. Fuck! I didn’t leave her side for the next year. We were inseparable. For three whole months, we did nothing but hold hands and kiss when we were together. She was a good girl, not yet sixteen and as desperate as I was to change all of that, I already loved and respected her too much to force her into anything before she was ready.
Then one night in November, my brother Tyler asked if I would babysit my nephew, Ethan. Meebs took the night off work but lied to her parents and we actually got to spend our first night together. Our first time together. Her first time… ever. She was a virgin and she chose to give her beautiful self to me that night. We’d been seeing each other for almost a year and I swear to God I’d nearly died a million times over from the worst case of blue balls ever in those first few months. The muscles in my right arm were getting at least a twice daily workout and my hand permanently ached… but I loved her, she wasn’t ready and I was prepared to wait. It had taken three fucking months before she let me even touch her tits, three months. Another three before I got my hand in her knickers and we were together a whole nine months before I’d finally convinced her that my dick didn’t bite and I’d be more than happy if she would just give it a little stroke.
And then she did it, fuck me did she ever? With words of encouragement and instructions from me, I got my best wank ever. She was shaking and so nervous that she was doing it wrong, but as soon as she saw my reaction, the effect she had on me, the power it gave her over me… that was it. My blue-eyed angel was gone, replaced by a five foot nympho, who suddenly wanted me as much as I wanted her. Hands, mouths, tongues and teeth, we just couldn’t get enough of each other, but the opportunity for actual sex just never happened.
Then that night at Tyler and Jenna’s it did. It was soft and beautiful, it was slow and so fucking delicious. She was it for me, my everything. No other girl or woman existed on this planet the night she gave herself to me. If I’d had any doubts before, the moment that I finally slid my body inside of hers, our fingers laced together either side of her head and our eyes locked, they were gone and I was done, hers.
At that moment, when that first tear slid from her eye and rolled back toward the pillow and she whispered, “I love you Conner, I love you so much.” I knew there and then that I loved her like no other and would love her forever. But now, all these years later, I try constantly not to think about that night. It’s locked away with every other memory of her. Thoughts of her ruin me. I don’t hate her, but I hate what she did, and I hate that she didn’t turn up. I hate what happened because she didn’t turn up and I hate that afterwards, when all the shit hit the fan, she never once tried to contact me. So yeah, fuck her! Fuck her and the ache she still has the ability to cause in my gut and my chest, on the rare occasions that thoughts and images of her manage to slip their way into my head. Fuck her for still having the ability to cause that lump in my throat and that squeezing sensation of my heart.
Nina
December 31st 1999
“Oh, come on Neen, what’s wrong with you this morning?”