It’s late by the time we get back and my ass is dragging. Drag and I managed to capture one of the motherfuckers and he sang like a fucking canary. Which was good and bad. I had to tell Dragon I knew about Dani and Michael and parts of what I already knew. To say my brother was unhappy was a freaking understatement. All I want is to crawl into bed, hold my woman and grab a couple of hours sleep before I face tomorrow. That’s the only plan I have. Until I open the door to Dani’s room and see she’s not there. We’ve been sleeping in her room most every night, but maybe tonight she wanted to wait for me in mine. I take off to my room and I start to feel fear when it is empty too, but that’s not what causes the feeling to bloom into a full blown panic. No, that would be the envelope on my pillow. The name Zander, written on the outside of it in Dani’s handwriting.
I sit down on the side of the bed, my body feeling like lead. My fucking hands shake when I rip it open and pull the two page folded note out.
Zander,
I figure if you’re reading this you already know I’m gone. I wanted to stay. Today at the beach, I actually thought about it. I can’t though, that’s a dream and I definitely don’t live in a dream world.
I asked you not to contact Michael, because I know him in ways you never could understand. I’ve been married to him for over six years now as Melinda Marinetti. Though we only stayed together one year, Michael won’t ever willingly let me go. I only escaped the first time by changing my name and hiding. If he gets a hold of me again, he’ll kill me this time. I’m actually okay with that. If I was brave perhaps I would actually beat him to the punch. I find I can’t though.
As odd as it sounds I want to live. I want to take the memories of you and the love you’ve shown me and live. You made me truly feel like Dani, a woman who could handle life and anything thrown at her. I will always be Dani now and that makes me happy. This way a part of me will always belong to you.
What you need to understand, is this is not your fault. This was set into motion before you even knew who I was and I can’t let my mistakes, my past hurt you in anyway. I’m no longer a scared seventeen year old child. I’m an adult. It’s time I stop hiding and leaning on Ray and Nicole for help and live whatever life I have, for however long I have left.
I love you, Zander and I know you’ll be upset by this. Please understand, I wanted to stay and I really thought about it. Then today when you called me Melly, I realized, I can’t. I’m not the woman for you. Memories of you will help me survive my past, but you have to be free to find the woman who will make you put your past behind—make you put Melly in the past where she belongs.
Gun told me about Melly, I know how it must haunt you, but everyone has a road to follow in this life. You can’t be responsible for all the wrong turns others take. It’s enough you made me grateful for my wrong turns because I got to love you, if only for a little while.
Be happy, Cowboy.
Love,
Your Hellcat.
Melly…My mind goes back to when I told Dani goodbye.
“I’ll be fine. You just be waiting when I get back. I love you, Melly.”
Fuck! I called her Melly! Why? I don’t think of her as Melly. I never have. Melly was from a different time. Melly was a time when I was a boy trying to be a man. It was puppy love and nothing like what I feel for Dani. Was it because of the danger? Or because I knew Dani was thinking of leaving? I can’t be sure and I’m not even sure it matters now. I caused her to leave. Tears sting my eyes as I bring her letter up to my face and breathe in the scent of her from it. When I think of my woman out there alone with a maniac I set on her heels after her, my heart stops. When I imagine how she must have felt to be called another woman’s name…
Fuck. I let the tears fall. There’s no shame in them. I did this. I caused this. Now I just have to figure out some fucking way to fix it all.
Chapter 33
Michael
I sit back against the leather in my limo watching the small screen before me as Melinda comes out of the Savage Clubhouse. She’s got a travel bag over her shoulder and holding a jacket in one hand. I suppose she really does think she’s getting away from me. It never ceases to amaze me how stupid women are. Does she really think I’m about to let her get away?
I knew having those stupid hillbillies fire on her friends, would cause her to run. If there is one thing I can always count on with Melinda it’s that she always sacrifices for the people she cares about. It’s how I got her to say I do, after all. She would have never agreed to it even after trapping her, if I hadn’t threatened her precious Nicole. I’ll get them both this time though. I’ve decided it’s time I play with Nicole’s life much like she has played with mine. We’ll see how she likes it. I never did like the bitch, but she’ll be fun to torture in front of Melinda.