It’s her damned doe-like, deep brown, eyes. They haunt me. Something about Dani calls to me. Even when I know she’s going to shoot me down, I can’t stay away. I don’t understand it. Women usually eat out of the palm of my hand and this one…Motherfucker! This one runs from me.
I’m pissed off about how the situation unraveled outside the theater. There was only one way to handle things, because at that point no one could control Dragon. You’d have to be a damned fool not to see how hung up he is on Nicole. She has his balls tied in a fucking bow. All us brothers could do when he went off was make sure we protected his ass. So I did. What did it get me?
At least this one isn’t pointing a gun at me.
Her words wound me. I have never hurt a woman, and this one well, you’d have to be a fool not to see the pain in her eyes, or to miss the fear that came off of her in waves tonight. She’s broken. Some fucker shattered her and left her bleeding. When I see her, I’m reminded of another girl. Melly. A girl I loved with all my heart. A girl I wasn’t able to save…a girl, I failed. Losing her has always hurt me. It changed me, but Melly is not why I am drawn to Dani.
No, if it was just Melly and their similarities, I wouldn’t be lying here in bed with my dick semi-hard thinking about Dani. I wouldn’t be jealous that she went off with some overgrown, over-haired, half-wit… Beast? I mean c’mon, I’ve heard some fucked up road names in my life, but Beast? The fact that his dick is probably where I want mine to be right now—fucking pisses me off.
I think back to Melly. It was such a long time ago. Another lifetime really, before I grew up, before I met my brothers, before the army…all of it. We were kids, just trying to figure out life. Melly was innocent and pure and I had never been exposed to that in life. Her laugh could fill in any dark space in the world. She was full of life—until her mom remarried. I grew up hard, mostly on the streets, in and out of different foster homes, so I saw the signs quickly. The bruises Melly would come to school sporting, the circles gathering under her eyes, the broken bones. I knew it was happening, but fuck I was little more than a kid myself. Melly didn’t trust me to be able to take care of her. How many times did I beg and plead for her to let me take her away? How many times did I lay down at night worried, wondering what was happening to her? Maybe Melly was right not to believe I could save her? I tried once and ended up in the hospital. A kid is no match for a grown ass man. Still, if she had gone away with me, I could have kept her safe, I know I could have.
This shit is going to get me in trouble. When my memories are this close to the surface, I don’t rest. The pictures haunt me. You don’t see the things I saw that night and remain unscathed. I need to shut them down and lock the door, but seeing how bad Jess had been beat, together with Dani and that mess. I can’t.
I thought about searching Bambi out, but the truth was she was a disappointment, a pale substitute for what I really want. What I really want is a county over getting fucked in another club, by another man. That shit burns my gut more than the bottle of whiskey I’m drinking. I want to go get her and drag her ass back here, but I can’t. She made her decision. I need to forget her.
At least this one isn’t pointing a gun at me.
Fuck, am I the reason she chose another club? Should I have grabbed her and then covered my boy? Did I choose wrong? Did I fuck up, when the decision mattered the most?
“Hey man, you busy?” Freak asks knocking on my door.
“Nah man, c’mon in. What’s up?”
Freak opens the door and pulls in his latest bitch, Nikki something-another. She’s damn pretty, her hair a mixture of colors ranging from a chestnut pony to warm sunlight. Her eyes are green and sparkle, but I instantly miss the dark color of Dani’s and the secrets swimming in them. I take another drink.
“My woman here wants to play a little. I ain’t about to let those other motherfuckers around her. You game?”
Freak and I have shared women a lot through the years. We both enjoy it and we work well together. When you do this, you need trust or shit can go wrong, real quick. I’m not really in the mood, not for Nikki anyways. This bitch means something to my brother. He just met her a couple days ago, but he’s already pushed Bambi away and been keeping his shit under wraps, except for Nikki. Still Freak likes to share, so I expected this. Me? I ever find a bitch I want to claim, she’s only getting my dick. That’s just the truth, I may like to play, but I’m a possessive motherfucker.
I take another drink as a vision of Dani flashes in my mind. Then I remember she’s probably knee deep in cock at Skull’s place. Fuck it.
“Hello there darlin’ you want to play?”