“If you gave more thought to the future, maybe the past wouldn’t hurt so much.” Oh, how those words echoed. He had spoken them with such disappointment. As if he had known she would never listen. As if he mourned for her long before she had mourned for him.
And he said unto me, Son of man, can these bones live?
A shiver coursed through her and stole any energy she had left. Her eyes focused on the red-orange glow of coals, she drew in a quavering breath. The tears had already given up. She was empty inside. Dry. Dust. Bone.
Her eyes slid shut. “ ‘And I answered, O Lord God, thou knowest.’ ”
Five
Walker tossed fresh hay into the stall and smiled at the nicker of the horse. “You’re welcome, Bay. Now, you need anything else before I go get my Elsie?”
The mare whinnied and bumped his arm with her nose, eliciting a chuckle. He obliged her with a rub. If only the other females in his life were so easy to please. He checked her feed and water, glanced down the line of other horses, and then stepped away.
And frowned. The mound of hay in the last stall wasn’t as he had left it yesterday morning after showing Mr. Lane and Marietta the tunnel. He had arranged it very deliberately so he would know if it were disturbed.
It was disturbed.
“Blast it, Yetta.” He planted his hands on his hips and scowled. She must have come out here after she dismissed Cora. Hadn’t he found it strange that his wife had come so early to their apartment?
He should have known she would come back alone. That she would ignore the risk and focus only on what she wanted, what she needed. In this case, proof. Shaken as she had been when they explained the situation, he had seen in her eyes that she wanted desperately to believe they were wrong.
Well, if she had timed it right, she would have heard an earful. Maybe that was what she needed to rouse her from her stupor, proof that her precious Dev wasn’t the kind of Knight she wanted him to be. Proof that she had let a brood of snakes, of Copperheads no less, into her family.
But dash it, she shouldn’t have had to witness that alone.
He hadn’t seen Marietta yet today, which was the usual way of things. She had called for a carriage, but Pat had taken it to the front of the house. If Walker could find a subtle way to accomplish it, he would ask Cora how she seemed. Surely she would notice if something were amiss. Though what would he do about it? Stephen may have made him swear to stick close and keep an eye out for her, but there was precious little he could do when it came down to it.
Shaking his head, he put the pitchfork away and slapped the dust from his trousers as he closed the stable door behind him. The sun shone today, but it was winter weak. The air had a bite to it as he circled the building to his rickety stairs, making him glad to step into the warm main room of their small quarters. His mother bustled from fireplace to table, humming a hymn.
“Morning, Mama.”
The older woman glanced up when he came in and gave him her usual smile, big and beaming. “Hey there, Walk.” She nodded toward the corner, where Elsie sat with the little rag doll Cora had stitched so carefully for her for Christmas. His little girl made the toy dance, rag feet jumping and leaping upon Elsie’s chubby toddler legs.
He had to wonder what music it was dancing to.
The little one didn’t look up, so he moved into her line of vision a little more, waving his hand. That got her attention, and Elsie surged up with the light of pure love upon her beautiful little face.
“There’s my girl.” He crouched down and held out his arms for her to run into, and then he gathered her close when she did. She wouldn’t hear him, he knew that. But still he had to talk to her. Maybe she would feel the rumble in his chest as she snuggled in. Maybe that would tell her she was loved. He pressed a kiss to her curls and stood with her on his hip. “Ready for lunch, precious?”
She looked up at him, her hazel eyes content and bright but questioning. He patted her tummy. “Hungry?”
Her grin always made his heart light. She patted her belly too and nodded.
Walker turned to his mother. “Has Cora been in yet?”
“Not yet, no. But I have a few errands to run while you’re here, so I’ll see you in about an hour.”
Errands. Knowing his mother, they would be the dangerous kind that involved sneaking runaway slaves northward. Work she would never give up, no matter all it had cost her. Yet work she put aside to help out with Elsie.
He picked up his mother’s cloak and handed it to her with a smile. “Thanks, Mama.”
She waved away his gratitude as she always did, and let herself out.