"No, it's okay babe. I know you have Paprika there tonight. Today was just a little crazy. I'm fine now though."
"Chocolate or vanilla?" she randomly asks.
"Huh?"
"I'm bringing ice cream and beer. Oh, and a movie. You sound like you need to watch a movie."
"Jesse, we never actually watch movies...oh, um...okay I could definitely watch a movie right now." We both start laughing, when I realize she isn't talking about a movie at all.
"Okay, give me about thirty minutes and I'll be there."
"Gorgeous, you don't have to do that. You're already cooking me dinner tomorrow night. Don't think I'm going to let you off the hook for that one."
"I'm not trying to get off the hook for anything. I like cooking for you. If I called and said I had a crap day, and wanted you to come over, would you?"
"Of course, but-"
"Okay, see you in a few." she hangs up before I can say anything else. I guess I'll be seeing Jesse tonight after all, and that thought propels me off the couch and into the shower. This day just got a hell of a lot better.
Jesse
OVER THE next few weeks Brett and I fall into an easy groove. We see each other every morning at Nell's and hang out about three to four times a week. I make a point to cook him as many meals as I can, including preparing his favorite fruit and granola for him to keep at home on the weekends. Last week he asked me to put together a grocery list for him, and now he keeps his fridge stocked with ingredients for me to cook dinner at his place. When he first asked about it, my heart stopped at the idea of how serious that sounded; me making his weekly grocery list. I talked myself out of reading too much into it. I have to remind myself daily that we are just dating. Nothing serious...yet.
I haven't heard or seen from Sarah again since that day at the coffee shop. She all but disappeared. I have no idea if Caleb spoke with her or not. I can’t imagine that would have gone over well with Brett. He was so protective of her after the way she reacted to Caleb. I don't think he would be very pleased if he caught wind that Caleb showed up to have a "talk" with her.
Brett doesn't talk about Sarah, or even acknowledge she exists. That doesn't mean it escapes me when he disappears on Thursdays. I don't ask questions, and he doesn't offer any answers. I've grown to dread Thursdays. Always worrying about what’s going to happen. Is she going to go to assault him? I can't help but feel like one day she is going to realize what she is letting go and want Brett back. I can't compete with her. He spent years loving her, maybe he still does. I can't think like that though. I promised myself to give him the benefit of the doubt, but it's a struggle.
My mind goes wild with ideas. I understand what he is doing by spending time with her, and why he does it. It still hurts like hell when he disappears every week though. Like clockwork, he calls me every Thursday night at eight. And even though we only live three miles from each other, we spend two hours talking on the phone.
I'd love to see him every night, but as wild as things got in those first few days we were together, I know it's best if we take this slow. By slow, I mean, having sex every time we are in a fifty yard radius of each other. Brett is always in the mood, and trust me, one look at Brett "in the mood" would put you in the mood too.
One day last week, he had an early meeting at work, so he came for breakfast around ten. Nell's was empty. The breakfast rush has come and gone. I was excited thinking it would give us time to talk and hang out. Brett had other plans. He flipped the sign on the door to ‘closed’ and dragged me into the back office for a mid-morning quickie. It was better than his usual middle of the night quickies that we have on the weekends when I sleep over at his apartment. Brett may have made me a little more adventurous, but that doesn't mean I've completely escaped my shy ways.
For days after the office make out session, I wondered if there are cameras in the office. I went so far as to freak out one day when I realized I probably just made a porn that one day my mother and brother would stumble across on the internet. I don’t know why my mother would be looking at porn on the internet, but that doesn't make the thought any less consuming.
I was so nervous, one night I woke up Kara to ask if there were any cameras. Of course, she knew the answer to this question and assured me Nell isn't that high tech. She then told me all about her sexcapades in that office, thus ensuring that it was a one-time deal for Brett and me. I'll never be able to look at that office desk the same way again.
By early November, Brett and I were floating right along in our non-relationship relationship. We pretend that what we are doing isn't serious, but we both know its pretending. One Friday night, when we get home from the most amazing greasy dinner at a hole in a wall restaurant twenty miles outside of town, he surprises me by asking me about my holiday plans.